Fire Beneath Me || L.S.

Now

Louis POV

The sound of the rain hit gently against the window, I can hear the wind blowing lightly and the moon light is shyly peaking through the window. 

Everyone had went their separate ways as the night ended. We all ate dinner and talked except for harry, he didn't eat I noticed. He would push his food around to make it seem like he was eating and hold up food to his mouth but never actually taking a bite, I wanted to say something but I didn't want him to get defensive during dinner.

It's past midnight,we're laying on his bed he's fully awake because I can hear how loud he's overthinking and I'm also awake but I think he thinks I'm sleeping. Our bodies are perfectly intertwined with his face in my neck and my arm gently draped over him, trying not to hurt him.

He's breathing his uneven and I can tell he's awake because I can feel his eyes looking for something to focus on. He clears his throat every once in a while and swallows thickly, I want to ask why he's awake but I know he'll try in cover up why he's really awake or pretend to be asleep.

I keep contemplating on if I should ask him or keep pretending to be asleep, this continues for a while until I hear him speak.

"I know you're asleep but I feel like this is the only way you'll know or that I'll ever tell you this not all of it but some of it.

I think you might of noticed I didn't eat today, but I still can't get used to the idea of food because he has taken that way from me, he has taken so many things away from me that i'll never be able to enjoy. I hope you know that I'm trying and I'm sorry i'm such a burden.

To be completely honest I'm absolutely terrified to see him in court, I don't want people to know what he did to me, I don't want them to know how he had me traumatized everyday, I don't want them to know what I can never forget but i sill believe he did nothing wrong.

I know you believe that it wasn't my fault but maybe arguing with him and provoking didn't help. I hope you know I'm really trying Louis but I don't know how much more of this i can take, but I will try to give all my strength for Gemma for you and for my mother too and im sorry for dragging you into this" he whispered

I gave him a squeeze and he tensed up a bit because that meant that I was awake and heard everything he said but he eased and I heard him sniffing and felt my neck get wet, he was trying to cry silently and its breaking my heart because I want to help but I know that he will brush it off to not burden me. I endlessly try to decided between saying something or ignoring it and I decide to hold him tightly while i stroked his curls.

He continues to cry for a while then his breath begins to regulate and is now sleeping with a few quite snores that come out of his mouth every once in a while.

I really want to help him but I know he would push me away even if we've known each other for a long time and we have the same feelings it's not the same trust there used to be and it's my fault. 

next morning 

I was woken up by the sun light trying to burst its way through the room, harry was just starting to wake up, he slowly blinked and rubbed his eyes and the sun shined n his face making his skin look soft and the sun made the colour of his hair turn a soft light brown. 

"what are you looking at?" he whispered. 

"you sound grumpy" i smiled

"That's because the bloody sun is shining right on my face" He said 

I laughed and got up to close the curtains and got back into bed. 

"go back to sleep" i said 

"it no use now, i'm wake" he replied. 

"shh just go bed, i know you're still tired, now sleep" I told him. 

He looked at me for a couple moments scooted closer to me, "what?" I asked. 

He leaned in and his lips were brushing on mine,"Race you to the kitchen" he said as he got up and ran out of the room 

"harreeh" i yelled as i got out of bed and ran to catch up to him.

I ended up in the kitchen and he sat on the counter smiling, "That wasn't fair you had a head start" i told him 

"I still won" he said. 

"So whats the plan for today?" i asked. 

"Well, I've missed a lot of school so there's that" He said. 

"okay well lets eat and we'll leave in a bit" i told him 

He put bread in the toaster while I mixed eggs. Gemma came down and helped with the bacon.  we sat and ate, when we were done the weather had changed and its was raining, we could go for harry's things so we decided to stay inside and watch movies. Harry went to get blankets 

"Do you think this is weird for him? all this not having to tip toe around his house in fear" I asked Gemma. 

"Well after so many years I think It would be hard for him to not get hurt and what he considered having normal days would be getting hurt by my dad". she said 

"You know he's scared about going to court because he doesn't want anyone knowing what happened to him" I said. 

"Yea I Know" she said.

He came back and we all sat and watched movies, I think this is the calmest day he's had and it made my heart sink. I ran my hand through his hair and smiled. 

Harry's POV

I felt Louis phone buzz, he got up and took a phone call, He stepped into the room and i heard him shouting. I gave gemma a look and she looked back at me. 

He came back with a worried and angered look on his face, "What's wrong?" i asked him

"ehh its nothing, don't worry about it lets watch the movie" he said which didn't sound convincing. 

I watched him and he picked at his nails not really watching the movie, I knew something was wrong but he won't tell me. I hoped it's nothing bad but considering his facial expressions I think  this is bad but for now i will enjoy this moment, now.