Do not fall in love with someone like me. Do not spare me a second glance, or a third, or a fourth. Do not dare to sneak in small looks or smiles or absentminded touches. Do not close your eyes and think of me. Do not think of my returned touches on your arm or your forehead or your hands. Do not remember me after these days are over. Forget my name and my face and my voice. Do not fall in love with someone like me.
I am admittedly an explosion waiting to happen. I have gunpowder streaked through my hair and war paint on my cheeks. My bomb kissed lips and dirt caked palms do not long for you, this I apologize for. I can break souls and I am sorry that you are one. I apologize for letting you fall while you sat beside me and all I could think of was him. I am sorry that I tied myself to another explosion and here I am, sprinkling gasoline around the room we stand in. I apologize for lighting this fire in your gas filled heart.
I am a ticking time bomb that counts down slowly yet surely from ten. And I am dying, dying to reach zero. I am waiting for the day I look over at him in your presence and you realize. You realize I am the hypocrite your mother raves about in the car home from school. I am the girl who cries to be loved. I am the girl who does not love back. I am the darkness that encases you at midnight and squeezes the air from your lungs to feed my obsession, my love for all things lifeless. I will not scream names and I will not whisper them. I will not love the ones that love me. I believe I deserve a love, just not now. Just not yours.
Do not fall in love with someone like me. I love to break the fragile to see the hairline fractures that extend through your body for split seconds before you shatter. I love to see the craters that form when my fingertips brush the ground. I adore the fire that rises from my footprints. I cannot touch a heart without leaving behind an achromic mass of hatred and pain.
Do not dare to let the image of me effloresce in your mind or your heart or your soul. Because I am the destruction your mother warned you about.
June 13, 2014 2:07am
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