Wearing my heart on whitewashed t-shirt sleeves, hiding the blood in my cheeks, glaring at marks on my forehead. Throwing tantrums over late night work, ripping the skin off my lips, sitting surrounded by strangers, covering the carpet with my lunch; two packs of candy. Pulling hair from my eyebrows, tucking razor blades in the bathroom, going through shirts before the sun rises, pen ink covers my body.
Laughing at words on the lips of grown men, a hand over my mouth, beaming at compliments, brushing past the lovers in the hall. Chocolate for dinner, water for breakfast, my waistline still the same, the numbers going up. Hair getting longer, teeth getting whiter, words stuck in my windpipe. Labored breaths, whistle blows, half mile in three minutes. Untied laces, staring at pages, sitting alone with my thoughts. Mom's getting worried, dad's getting angry, friends don't give a damn. Shaking voices, wandering eyes, sweaty fingers, and jackets buttoned to the neck.
September 23, 2014 11:19pm; the last three and a half weeks have been a glorious hell
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