"Are you sure you are ready sweetheart? You know I don't want to force you into anything and-" Michael licked his rose coloured lips nervously, as sweat rolled from his caramel forehead, curls practically wet as he breathed hot air onto your cheeks, brown eyes studying your small smile. You cut him off by putting a finger to his beautiful lips. "You know how much we both want this. I'm ready..." you whispered gently, watching his face light up, shifting his sweaty body that was hovering above yours.
*************************************
Four months later
"What does it say?" Michael asked in hushed tones as you lay in his arms on the bathroom floor, delicately taking the test from the counter. His hair was spilling from his rough messy bun as his large hand clasped yours desperately. Shaking slightly, you lowered your head to read the life changing results.
Michael's pov. (All the way to the end of this imagine).
I watched her read the results and I just knew from the way she seemed to deflate. I'm such a failure. I can't even give my girl a family. Gently pushing her head to my chest I felt the warm tears begin to soak through my shirt. We've tried multiple times and we just can't seem to do it.
************************************
"Ready?" I asked Y/N, lowering my head to look at her sad eyes. "Ready." She replied as I squeezed her hand softly, just to let her know that we are in this together.
"Mr Jackson, Mrs Jackson." The Doctor stepped from his office, dressed in a typical white coat and he greeted us kindly. Once we were in the stark, bleak room, we settled ourselves on the sofa, Y/N's hand desperately fiddling with mine. "What seems to be the problem?" The doctor asked and Y/N looked at me to tell.
"Well, *ahem* we have been trying for around four months without, you know protection, and nothing seems to be happening." I licked my lips nervously, face heating up as the doctor nodded kindly. "Ok, so we can run a couple of tests and have results ready in about a week, just to see if there are any issues." He then took out a plastic cup.
Oh my goodness.
************************************
One week later
The doctor stared at the piece of paper In his hands before looking up at me and Y/N, nodding slightly, my heart beginning to pound. "I'm afraid, Mr Jackson, that you probably can't have children, due to a low count." He solemnly announced to us. I felt Y/Ns hand grip mine, my breath becoming short and the room starting to close in on me. My skin became sweaty as the doctor spoke again.
"I'll give you both some space." He closed the door silently as I let go of Y/N's hand, catching her sympathetic gaze. The last thing I need is her sympathy.
"Michael I-" she began, shifting closer to me.
"ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO HAVE CHILDREN Y/N! THATS ALL I EVER ASKED FROM GOD. I CANT EVEN DO THAT. PATHETIC! LETS ADD THIS TO THE LIST OF THINGS MICHAEL CANT DO SHALL WE?" I shouted at her, beginning to feel guilty and beginning to cry.
"I just wanted to be a father, Y/N." I whimpered as she began to cry too, trying to speak again. "Nothing I can say will make this ok, will it?" She asked me in her soft voice, the kind of voice that lets me know her heart is breaking, her world falling apart. All because of me.
"I am so, so sorry Y/N. if I'd have known before then things could've been different. You could've married someone who was able to give you children. I'm so sorry that it's not me!" I cried like a child now, tears flowing and my body crumpling into the couch as Y/N rushed to me, pulling me close to her beautiful body, rocking me gently and crooning soft words into my ears.
"We can try again Michael. It's not certain. It's just a very low chance. It's possible... remember Peter Pan? And others, like Cinderella? They all had dreams and miracles happen and come true. If we try at least once more we could have a miracle of our own Michael. If not we can adopt. Remember we both said we wanted to adopt. How about two children from every country? Then Neverland will be full of laughter and happiness, hmm?" Y/N stroked my hair in a comforting manner, soothing me whilst telling me this. All I could do was nod at what she was saying. She was being hopeful. It will never happen because it's me. Joseph always taunted the fact that I was nothing but a failure. He was right. So was Jermaine. And Randy. And... anyway.
With heaviness in our hearts, we slowly decided it was time to go. We must've been weeping on this couch for hours now, thankfully the doctors left us alone. Wiping my tears, Y/N stepped beside me, painting her beautiful smile on her face, breathing out a sigh as she saw the state I was in. Slowly and gently, she tucked in my rumpled shirt, straightened my tie and brushed my curls behind my ears. I stood dumbstruck as I watched her motherly instinct come in to play and instantly felt that constant pang of regret, heartache and grief. "Time to make a move applehead." Y/N joked slightly, giving me a lopsided grin, before slipping her little hand into mine that fits like a glove.
My legs began to move, but I wasn't in control. I felt disconnected, like my soul had left my body and was watching everything fall apart. Suddenly we were out of the glass doors, Bill asking if we were ok and Y/N replying for me with a simple "yes, thank you." She is my lifeline.
Fans and press were gathering quickly, flashes blinding me. Not what I needed right now. They seemed to move in slow motion and I clocked a young boy and his father on my left. Just seeing the little boy smile made my heart shatter, my mouth opens and I start to make strange noises, stuttering noises. Then the stupid tears begin again as Y/N makes me jump by slipping ray bans onto my eyes, making the world jump back to normal and suddenly we are being pushed and shoved in the middle of the insane crowd.
But Y/N was still holding my hand.
