Chiller (harry styles)

54: Stars Aligned

"And the two of the ladies, of the lands of the lords, laid down their lives for the river bank stories, as if they had lived them themselves, and all was well in the cottage of Vogalor. Mayagani looked back, just to the sky, and raised a magnificent laughter. And when the small boy did the same, his hands as dirty as the road he had walked all his life, the stars were aligned."

Harry reads the last line of A Journey Beyond Us to me and then places it back on my bedside table, grinning wide. It's been a week since was I now refer to as "The Incident" day. The boat, the crying, the apology, etc. I try not to eat lollipops anymore. (Auntie Dorothy, however, insists that sugar is the fruit of Heaven. They only eat sugar in Heaven. That's why angels are so sweet.) I also try not to think too hard about boys or what they do in their free time. And I've been steering clear of Patwin's chemistry set.

"That was terrible." He jokes.

I smack his arm. I thought it was simply beautiful, the entire nobel. I've read it twice already.

"It's perfect. The way Sanja sacrifices herself. It's a metaphor for life. We can't always choose the easy thing for us. We just have to choose the right thing for everybody else. The meaning of life, Harry, isn't us, per say. The meaning of life is other people."

Harry leans back in the bed and places his hands behind his head. His face is glowing and his eyes are bright.

"So all this is for nothing...as to say in my opinion, right? Like, I am alive for other people and not myself?"

I roll my eyes.

"Yes.. and no. We are alive for others but also, always, for a greater purpose. Everyone has something to do, someone to be. And it matters more not what you are doing bit who you are doing it with. So life is all about relationships, Harry. We connect and feel and then we die. And soon the sun will burn everything and we'll all be in Hell or the HeAvens. At least that is what some people think. I don't know how I feel. I believe in Jesus, but I don't know how I feel about gumdrop clouds and burning pits of fire."

Harry laughs.

"Who told you there were gumdrop clouds, Tahlia? Tell me. Did someone really or are you picturing Heaven as Candyland all on your own?"

I shove him hard.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. Is that what you believe? That it will be so fascinating? That you can eat literally everything your ass can sit on? Come on."

His lips thin, but the smile is still in his emerald eyes.

"My belief is dimmed. I have no real thoughts."

"Bullcrap. Everybody has thoughts. I won't laugh at you."

He sighs.

"Fine. Heaven is real and so is Hell. No other thoughts."

I lay my hand on his stomach and watch it move up and down as he breathes.

"You know, the thing about being able to go to Heaven is we have to be remarkable, right? Or we have to be wholesome and thoughtful? We have to have love and life in us, right?" I ask him, slipping under his arm. "Wrong. You can commit fifty sins a day, get forgiveness, and still go to Heaven. You could commit every damn sin there is in the book and as long as you are saved your soul is safe and you can be a prickass to everyone and your mother and Jesus still loves her. That's something I like about Jesus, Harry. He forgives people and loves them no matter what color they are inside or out. But that's also the thing about people that I hate. They take advantage of the kindhearted, they feed on love with greed, and they never learn from their mistakes. People are sick, sometimes. But not everyone is like that. Some people surprise you."