Eighteen (H.S//S.G)

20: bff

*Harry's POV*

Kendall and I were both standing outside of my childhood home. The one where I grew up in, the one where I had many laughs and also many cries. The home that made me the man that I am now.

An ignorant, self-loathing prick. 

We walk up to my door. Grabbing Kendall's hand for more realism, I knock on the wooden door. Instantly I'm met by my mother and the strong smell of my moms homemade casserole.

"Hey Love" Smiled my mother and quickly pulled me in for a hug. She held on a little too tightly and for a little too long. Ever since the fame took over my life I haven't been home a lot or seen my family all that much. Having to travel around the world and tour each city is very tiresome and can really catch all your time. 

"And hello to you to sweetie" she continues after letting go of me and planting a fake smile. We both walk into the house and took off our shoes at the door. 

"dinner isn't done yet but maybe you can show Kendall around the house as you wait, I think Robin is coming home in a few. Gemma said she couldn't make it" She excuses herself and walks into the kitchen.

Looking around the house I see nothing really has changed. My mom still had her hideous carpets laying on the ground, and all her antiques decorated around the house and those ugly curtains that I hoped she would have thrown out hanging off the walls. Being back, I really didn't despise everything as much, in fact I actually really loved how it all looked together.

"Show me your bedroom baby" Kendall winked and pulled me towards the stairs. Walking up the steps I see all the baby photos my mum had hung up on the wall. Some with Gemma and me and some with only Gemma and some with only me all throughout our ages. When we were born, when we first went to school, when we graduated from High School. Once we reached the top, I made a left and walked right in my dark blue bedroom.

Walking in I smell the small hint of my cologne and the rest over powered by cleaning products. My mom really went in and cleaned my room. Hopefully she didn't see the magazines of half naked women and all my cum towels. 

Taking everything in, I see my bed which is probably now little small for me and my grown figure. But that wasn't what caught my eyes. What made me instantly let go of Kendalls hand and drop to the floor on my knees was the picture frame of me and this girl. Well it was a collage of me and this one girl, who looked all too familiar.

There were pictures of me and her holding hands, me and her hugging, her smiling and one with me smiling. Vividly remembering my childhood best friend i frantically look at the back seeing 

"Happy birthday Haz, from your bff" 

But who's my bff, theres no mention of her, just my name and the fact she was my bff. I open the drawers and see bunch of papers crumpled up. On top of all the paper I'm met with a brown note book with bunch of doodles. Immediately recognizing that its my diary that I used to write in everyday to take things off my mind I open it up and read the first page.

05/09/06

Dear Diary,

I am going to start writing in this because I feel like it might help me let my feelings out without any sort of  consequence because no one will ever read it, and so there won't be no reaction to my words. I'll try and write in this everyday. Actually nah this is such a pussy thing to do.

I laugh out loud and remember when I wrote this. I'm actually such a pussy for wanting to start writing in a diary. I turn to the next page and am instantly hit by memories.

18/11/06

Dear Diary, 

I can't fucking believe my parents are having a divorce. They can't just fucking split without realizing that they have kids who need to be taken care of. Where am I going to go, who am I going to stay with?