Chapter 4

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When I was in a deep sleep I heard voices. Someone was actually screaming. I woke up trying to figure out if it was real or just in my dreams. I listened closely and realized that it was real. I heard Aneel's voice and looked around, realizing that it was still dark. I stood up and rushed over to his room. It wasn't locked so I could go in easily. Just when I was about to ask what was wrong I saw him sleeping, but he was like fighting in his sleep. His hands were up in the air like he was trying to push someone off. I went over to him and grabbed his hands.

"No...no, don't" he was screaming the whole time. I tried to shake him awake but it didn't work. It was like he was living the nightmare and there was no one that could wake him.

"Aneel... Aneel" I said softly. Maybe that would wake him up, but no, no response. I kept saying his name and kept shaking him but he didn't wake up. He was saying 'no' over and over again like a broken record. Then he said something that caught my attention and stopped me from trying to wake him up.

"Maryam.. Please" he said. Who was Maryam? His girlfriend? And what was he seeing? I just pushed the upcoming thoughts away and tried shaking him for the last time. I kept saying his name over and over again but it was no use. I neared to his ear and screamed really hard his name that made him jump slightly in his bed. He woke up and he looked like he was watching a horror movie. I didn't know what I was doing so I just followed my instincts. After a few minutes I said his name again to let him snap out of this silence. He wasn't moving and was as hard as a rock, shaking slightly.

"Aneel.." He looked at me and then at our position. I had my arms wrapped around his shoulders from the side. He immediately pushed my arms away and stood up, as if I had burnt him.

"Don't. Ever. Touch. Me. Again" he said looking at me disgustfully. This was not what I needed. I didn't need a fight in the middle of the night. I was too tired for that.

"I was only trying to help you and you didn't w-" I was saying calmly when he interrupted me.

"I don't need your help, okay? You can't barge into my room and just touch me like that." He said in his angry tone. I didn't say anything because I didn't understand a thing. He wasn't making sense.

" I don't want you to touch me ever again, no matter what. Next time don't come into my room" he said, warning me. I got the message. I stood up and walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry" I said without caring and walked away. Not before I saw that he had something white in his hand that he was breathing in with his nose. What was that? I was curious but let it go. He wouldn't even tell me if I asked and I shouldn't even care. I went back to my room to sleep. Not that I could sleep after the horror I saw in the eyes of Aneel. It was so weird and maybe it was affecting me so much because I was recognizing myself in him. I shut my eyes tightly and turned towards my right, trying to sleep and not think about the past.

The next day I woke up to voices. I stood up and listened, hearing my mother-in-law talking. I walked out of my room immediately and she looked at me. I lowered my gaze out of embarrassment that I was sleeping while she came over. She walked over to me and checked me out with a disgustful look. I just sighed and rolled my eyes mentally. I knew that she was about to say something.

"If my husband and your father didn't make a deal, I would never let you marry my son. Look at how perfect he is and look how you look. He could do way better." she said. It didn't hurt me cause she said things that I was used to. It didn't affect me because I was full of it. It was already flowing through my veins and it was permanently marked in my brain.

"You don't have to tell me things I already know" I said politely. Even if she was mean, I knew how to respect older people. That's something our Prophet wanted us to do, wasn't it?

"Aneel, look at what your wife is saying. Did you hear that? She is disrespectful. And she also sleeps till the afternoon." she said, looking over to the door of my room. I sighed again. I was just silent, not wanting to give her any ingredients to talk further.

"Mum, you allowed this to happen" he said, opening his arms as if he was referring to this whole marriage. I tried not to let it get to me, because I knew there was a hidden meaning to it.  Don't let them get to you, one day you'll be gone and be in peace, I thought to myself. I was always talking to myself. It was good and bad at the same time. People would think I was crazy but I couldn't help it. Maybe it's because I never had someone to talk to. No one who would give me advice or motivation. I had to do it myself.

"Well, I guess it was better to marry Maryam, wasn't it Aneel?" I said looking him in the eyes. I didn't know where that came from and I didn't even have control over what I said. He was in shock for a second but then I saw the fire in his eyes. He was going to hurt me; this was the look my dad always gave me before doing Allah knows what. He was frowning so much that it was just scary. My fingertips started to feel sweaty all of a sudden and my legs were shaking a bit when he looked me deadly in the eyes.

"Mum, go" he said, gritting his teeth. His mother just nodded and grabbed her stuff very roughly and didn't mind to close the door with a bang. I knew that the worst was about to come. My whole body started to shake when he walked closer to me.

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Final editing done (24-08-2016)

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