Love Heals The Broken Heart(Namjoon Fanfic)

Amnesia

I was in disbelief when I saw Dr Kim Namjoon as our workshop instructor. I honestly felt scared and I didn't know why. In my mind I wanted to run out of here but no there was no way of doing that. Why was I feeling scared? Why does his presence scares and soothes me? I'm snapped out of my own thoughts when Namjoon calls my name.

"Y/N. Don't be afraid. Just stand up say your name, where you're from and what you wish you gain from this workshop" He says in a calming voice. 

I sat there looking at everyone staring at me and I sink into my seat. I didn't want to do anything.

"Y/N. You have to stand up. When you're healing you have to stand up to those that hurt you, those monsters and demons that are in your head, right? I need you to stand up, put all of your fears behind and speak up. Can you do that for me?" His smile sent a gentle touch in my heart and I slowly got up from my seat.

"I..umm...My name is Y/N... I'm from Los Angeles..and I hope to find out why or remember who hurt me and why?" I say as I felt a lump in my throat.

"Good, wasn't so bad was it? That's one of the biggest steps to healing. Thank you for sharing. You may sit down"

I slowly sat back down in my seat. I let out a huge sigh, it felt like I was holding in so much air that I probably forgot how to breathe. I felt Lisa pat me on the shoulder and I look back at her with a slight smile. The workshop started right away when Namjoon tells us to turn our books to page 75. The title of the poem was called "When I Consider How My Life Is Spent" by John Milton. It was about the author's suddenly going blind and how he felt he was punished for his blindness.

Namjoon later on told us to write out thoughts about the poem and how it relates to us. He said it's a way to express our emotions by sharing commonalities with one another. While everyone was writing down, of what looked like paragraphs, of their thoughts, I sit there with a blank piece of paper in front of me. I didn't know what to write. Namjoon walks around checking with other patients and talking with them while I sit playing with my pen. Lisa looks at me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong Y/N? Why aren't you writing?" She asks in a worried tone.

I sigh, fold my arms on the table and rest my head on the table. 

"I don't know. I just can't write anything. I just...I just don't know"

I hear footsteps approaching our table and I lift my head up to see Namjoon kneeling down and I'm faced to face with him. His face was so close I could actually kiss him.

"Y/N Is everything Ok?"

"Umm I guess." I say folding my hands under the desk

"I see you haven't written anything. How come?"

"Well...I..I don't know what to write" I say 

"There's has to be something that you're feeling right now. It's alright if you don't understand the poem and it' OK if you can't relate Y/N" He puts his hand on my chair

"I understand the poem. It's just..don't know because....." I stare at him and his eyes put me in a trance. "I don't know why I'm here. I don't remember anything nor do I understand why I can't remember what caused me to be where I am now! How can I heal if I don't know what caused this mental scar!?" I say with tears coming down my face. I wasn't aware that the rest were looking at us.

Namjoon grabs my hands and holds them firmly in his hands "That's exactly what you should write down Y/N. What you just said to me is what you should be writing down. Anything that you're feeling write it down" He says in a low and gentle voice. He releases my hands and rubs the back of my shoulder a little and walks to the table in front of us.

I was taken back with what just happened. Jennie hands me a box of tissue that was behind us and I wipe away the remaining tears o my face. 

"We're all here for you. We're all here for each other. That's how we grow" Amber says.

I stare at the notebook for a moment, unsure of myself, and then started writing. We wrote and talked about everything and I was starting to feel more open, despite not knowing or understanding my situation. There was laughter and there was tears and somehow it brought everyone together. The workshop finished and we prepare for our physical activity. Luckily we get to chose, from yoga, dance or aerobics and not something we all had to do together. We quickly leave the room when Namjoon stops me.

"Y/N I'm really glad you gave the courage to talk about your honesty. It's not easy at all but you did." He gives me a genuine smile. I nod my head in approval, not knowing what to say so I quickly ran up to catch up with Lisa and the rest. We start heading down to the lobby where everyone signed their names on of the the sheets that showed Yoga, Dance, or Aerobics, as our choice in physical health. I looked at the sheet and decided to put my name on dance because Lisa and Jennie were in it and I didn't want to be alone. We all separate and I head to the mini gymnasium with the rest of the dance group. We entered the gymnasium where the mats were laid out and a radio was on the floor. The gymnasium was clean and but rather small, but it was manageable for me to move around. A young woman who looked about 22-27 years old walks in and smiles at us and says good morning to all of us and takes of her hoodie and places it on the floor.

"Hey everyone. How are all of you doing today?"

"We're OK. Just looking forward to another dance session. We have a new patient who decided to dance with us!" Lisa and Jennie happily pushes me towards the dance instructor. I just stand there and rub my arms. 

"I'm CL. I'm the dance instructor here. I'm here two days a week. What's your name sweety?" She asks sweetly

"I'm Y/N. I just got here yesterday." I say shyly

"Nice to meet you Y/N. This is a fun class. You'll have fun. You get to express and release all of your deepest thoughts and emotions. Have you danced before"?

"Yeah...a few years ago...I used while growing up but I kind of grew out of it"

"Hmm I see. Do you mind showing us a dance? I think it would be great."

I hesitate at her question and was about to say something until Lisa intterupts

"Yeah Y/N! You should! We'd like to see!"

"No..I can't..I haven't danced in a long time..I'm too embarrassed" 

"If you can speak up during the work shop then you're capable of showing your talent in front of us" Jennie says

I sigh "OK..I'll try" I walk to the center and everyone steps back. CL puts on one of favorite Kpop songs, Serendipity by BTS's Park Jimin, and then thing happens my body takes over. I felt like I went into a different world, the music truly matched my emotions. With each step I was in a trance, it was like drawing a painting only the music was the paint and my body was the brush. 

When the music stopped, I look at all of the patients and the dance instructor's faces. Each one were in awe and amazed with what I did. The room was quiet for a painful 20 seconds and I turn towards the door and leave. As I get to the door I see Namjoon standing in front of the door with astonishment. I can't believe he saw everything....