2AM CALLS - luke hemmings

VIII

"I'm positive that those people really hate me being the leader of our group," Luke said as soon as I picked up. I frowned.

"I'm sure that they don't, Luke," I said back. I positioned myself on my bed. I just finished my essay and send it to my teacher. I know, it was like 2am but who cares, it's handed in and that's all that matters.

He sighed. "Jimi just fucking listen to me because you know nothing okay? They hate me, they really do. Even my friends hate me, I'm sure about that. I get all the credits and what not, but it's not fair! I'm not the best of our group, I'm not the best. My friends are better but I get all the credits and I get put in the spotlights."

"It would be much easier if you told me what kind of work you do."

I heard him laugh. "I can't tell you, Jimi. And it's not important. It's just that I get all the credits and I know my friends hate me for that," he said. He lets out a small laugh.

"They fucking hate me! And I hate myself too."

"You don't, Luke, please. You're perfect the way you are. No one hates you."

"There are much people who hate me, I know that for sure. It's stupid. I always ask myself why I'm still alive. No one even wants me here. Not my family, not the people I work with, not my friends; no one. I'm alone, so why am I even here?"

"Because there are people who love you. There are people who love to be around you and who'd love to be your friend. You just don't see that."

I'm also one of those people. I loved to talk to Luke, I loved to hear his voice every damn night. I don't care that it's 2am, it's his voice that matters. He chose me to talk to, that was something special in my eyes. He could chose anyone he wanted but he chose me.

I want him to feel better again and I know I can't do that. But I'm here to help him and to listen to him. That's all he need he said, so I believe him. Even though he needs serious help.

"Everyone hates me Jimi."

It was silence for a little while. I couldn't hear Luke. I was assuming that he muted himself. That could be it, or he left and his phone was laying there, doing nothing.

But after a little while I could hear him again. "I'm back," he said, his voice cracking. I bit my lip. He probably cried because saying the sentence 'Everyone hates me Jimi' hurts him. It makes him feel bad, and that's logic.

"Not everyone Luke."

"Yeah you don't but you're a person behind a phone and you don't know who I am. You'll hate me once I tell you who I really am. I'm sure about that. I don't want that to happen because I need your 2am calls. I need you in my life. And I know that sounds stupid but I really do need you Jimi," he said. The last lines were mumbled.

He needed me.

I should be there for him in real life, but I can't. I don't know who he is. I want to know but he won't tell me, he's afraid that I'll hate him. But I'll never.

"I won't hate you, I promise." He laughed sarcasticly. "You can't say that yet. You don't know who I am."

"But I know that I won't hate you, I promise you that Luke. Just tell me who you are. That'll make things easier."

"No, I can't. I'm sorry Jimi. Maybe later, probably not but maybe later." He took a deep breath. "I just don't want you to hate me so I'm keeping that for myself."

"How many times do I have to say that I'll never hate you?" I said. It kinda hurt me that he doesn't want to believe me. But I won't show that, never.

"You don't know that. And that's the last thing I'll say before I let you sleep. You don't know if you'll hate me or not, but Jimi please trust me on this that the reason I don't tell you is to save myself. I'm sorry okay? Goodnight Jimi."

"Alright, goodnight Luke."

And with that he hung up.