We Both Know Hearts Can Change

A blackout is a merciful gift from your brain, don't try to remember, trust me

''We didn't make out! ...What? AJ? '' Dean frowned in confusion, looking at me like I was crazy, then he realized he had just cut his own throat.

''AJ and I had been together for a couple of months, but it was years ago, before you and I even met. '' He tried to save himself, but it was too late.

''Dean. Do I look stupid to you? '' I barely stopped myself from growling.

''Shannon-- ''

''Answer me! '' I cut him off, before he could tell any more lies.

''No, you don't. '' Dean sighed.

''What happened tonight? ''

''Eva Marie kissed me. '' He admitted.

I knew that snake was up to something, but I had been too absorbed in my self-pity to do anything about it.

''Get out. ''

''Hey, it wasn't my fault ok?-- ''

''Get out. '' I said in a tone that admitted no reply.

He got up and left the room. That night I was going to sleep all alone.

In the morning, I woke up feeling like I had been sleeping for years. I turned around in bed searching for Dean because I was used to wake him up. Then I remembered I had kicked him out.

As soon as I heard my noisy ringtone, I wished I could destroy my phone, along with everything else in that damn room. I sat on the bed, trying not to rage at the figure of Eva Marie shoving her tongue down Dean's throat. I didn't take the call.

I had to do my best to focus for that night's episode of Raw, I picked up my pieces and went to the gym. All the anger I was feeling unexpectedly turned into sorrow when I got there. I regretted bringing the phone with me, it would keep ringing, so I switched it off before starting to train.

After a couple hours of miserable looking exercise, my head was clear enough to realize I had to give Dean a chance to explain himself, or worst-case scenario, get his stuff and leave. I switched my phone on again expecting to see a lot of Dean's texts and missed calls. I was surprised to see he hadn't tried to call me. Not even once.

AJ was the one who kept making my phone ring.

'Good morning sunshine!'

'Wake up, you've got some explaining to do haha x'

'Pick up the damn phone, lazy bones! :3'

I was confused. What was that I had to explain?

The latest message was from just a few minutes before. 'Meet me in the lobby x'

And so I did. As soon as April saw me, she dragged me outside and shoved me in her car.

''Wow. What's going on with you? '' I wasn't sure why she was so excited.

''No, what's going on with you? ''

I thought she wanted me to fill her in on what she had missed during our time apart and that she was so thrilled just because she was weird like that, so I started to unwind telling her about the mess(es) that I had gotten myself into.

She hardly said a word while I spat out everything that was holding my conscience hostage and when I was done, she acted all weird and hesitant.

''I guess you don't want to know then... '' AJ moved uncomfortably in her seat.

''What do you mean? ''

''All of this seems to worry you so much... I-- ''

''It does. It worries me very much, so if there's anything you know that I don't, you need to tell me now. '' I spelled out slowly, barely capable of not losing my nerve.

''Well...you clearly don't remember bringing Roman to your room yesterday night. '' AJ said, like she was trying to defuse a bomb.

''I did what?! ''

''We met him on the way to my room. You basically grabbed his face and sloppily kissed him, before telling him you wanted to go to your room. ''

''And you let me do it?! '' I asked, gasping for air.

''You really don't remember! ''

''Then remind me, for fuck's sake! ''

AJ was obviously feeling bad for me, so she kept ignoring my outbursts.

''I tried to pull you away from him, but you started making a scene. You yelled and I quote 'You can't keep us apart! You can't stand in the way of true love!' Then you passed out again and he carried you to your room. He was definitely pissed. ''

I dialed Roman's number, he didn't reply. I tried another couple of times. Still no answer.

''He's not answering his phone. '' I sighed.

''Go find him... you need to fix this before tonight's show. ''

I called Seth, as I got off of AJ's car.

''Hey. ''

''Hey, uhm... Roman won't answer his phone, any idea where he might be? ''

''We're both in his room now. Care to tell me what's going on? ''

''Is it Shannon? '' I distantly heard Roman's voice.

''Yeah. '' Seth replied.

''I don't want to talk to her. ''

''He doesn't want to-- ''

''I heard him. I'll explain everything, but please don't let him leave. '' I cut Seth off and hung up, as I rushed to Roman's room.

I was about halfway there, when I received a text from Seth. 'I couldn't keep him from leaving! He took the car keys... sorry. '

''Fuck! '' I shouted.

I ran back to the parking lot, fast enough to throw myself against Roman's car. He braked just in time.

''Are you out of your fucking mind?! '' He shouted, as he got off the car.

''Possibly. '' I replied, trying to catch my breath.

''What do you want? '' He sounded exasperated.

''I might not remember much, but I'm so sorry about yesterday... '' I sighed.

''Right... '' He shook his head angrily, letting out a bitter laugh. ''You wouldn't stop telling me how much you loved me... I bet you're sorry about that. ''

Roman was visibly hurt and it was all my fault.