''I hate you, Randy Orton''

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''Thanks and, uhm... also sorry for... that. '' I gestured towards his swollen cheek, believe it or not, I was actually starting to feel a little bad about it. ''I didn't mean to spoil your night. '' I apologized, before taking a sip.

''My reputation in that bar is spoiled, that's for sure. '' Randy said, with evident amusement. ''My night, on the other hand, is going pretty fine so far. ''

He gave me a casual flirtatious look, as I passed him the bottle, trying to keep my face from expressing how unwillingly flattered I was, resulting in yet another weak smile.

''I'm glad you feel that way. '' I said in a feeble voice.

He took the last intense drag from his cigarette and absent-mindedly flicked the bud away, as his snakelike gaze lingered on me long enough to make me look away.

''So uh... what were you doing in that crappy bar anyway? '' I asked, purposefully ruining the moment.

''Oh, you know...grabbing a drink, getting elbowed in the face. The usual. '' He shrugged.

I hid my face in my hands as we both burst out in a hearty laugh.

''Come on, don't do that. I've been trying to make you laugh for a good five minutes, the least you can do is to let me see. ''

''Should I laugh again, for your entertainment? '' I joked.

''Nah, it's not the same... and entertainment's got nothing to do with it. '' Randy's words perfectly matched his reflective, distant glance. I wondered what he was thinking about, but I knew better than to wonder too much.

''Now I feel guilty. '' I frowned. ''Let's say I owe you. ''

As I pronounced those words, a mischievous spark lit up his eyes, leaving but a shadow of the thoughtfulness he was showing only moments before.

''Yeah, let's say that. '' He smiled. ''How about we get a change of clothes and go finish this bad boy by the pool? ''

Now that he'd mentioned it, we kinda looked like we'd been to war and barely back. That didn't change the fact that spending time with a super-attractive, super-famous, super-charming man in my precarious mental state was a terrible idea.

''Sounds good. '' I replied, completely conscious of the fact that I had just ignored my own advice.

And, just like that, I found myself hearing stories about the Ruthless Aggression era, while sitting at poolside.

Needless to say that, without any scumbags to interrupt me, I managed to get pretty wasted, pretty fast. I laid on my back, staring at slightly spinning stars, while my colleague kept looking like he'd been drinking water.

''So... is it what you usually do on a free night? Drink yourself stupid with people you don't even like? '' He suddenly asked.

''Stop judging me, Randy Orton. '' I muttered.

''Woah. Full name. So you actually don't like me. '' He chuckled.

''What's not to like in someone who believes they're a god among men? '' I was expecting another scornful laugh, instead he silently lit up a cigarette.

I sat up, moderately regretting having let those words out of my mouth.

''Don't feel bad, you're not the first person to just assume things about me. '' A haze of smoke curled around his face. ''You're still kind of a bitch, though. ''

''That's fair. '' I shrugged. 

Randy took a hasty puff and flicked the cigarette away, before standing up. 

He took off his T-shirt in one fluid motion. 

''What are you doing? It's like 60 out here! '' I exclaimed. 

Regardless of my astonishment, he stripped down to his expensive underwear.

''What are you waiting for? ''He asked.

I tried my very best not to stare at his sculpted body, my drunk brain decided that completely shutting my eyes was the perfect solution for that problem.  

''I'm waiting for you to put your clothes back on before you catch something! '' I squealed. 

''Did you actually close your eyes? What are you, twelve? Come on, we're going for a swim. '' Randy started doing some rather choreographic shoulder stretching.

It took an awful lot of willpower to open my eyes again and focus them on his face. ''Are you out of your mind? The water is freezing. ''

''I thought you said you owed me. '' Randy raised his eyebrows in a plainly defying attitude. 

I damned myself for always speaking without thinking. ''Fine! ''

I angrily took off my clothes, risking a very embarrassing face-down slip as my jeans tangled around my feet. I managed to save myself from my own awkwardness, but as soon as I was done undressing, Randy easily picked me up and sent me flying in the water. 

I made it back to the surface to see a very pleased smile on his face.

''We're even. '' He shrugged.

''I hate you, Randy Orton. '' I stated, trying not to cough. 

''You're adorable. '' He chuckled.

''Are you coming in or what? '' 

''Why? Miss me already? '' Randy smirked, before gracefully diving in the pool. And by that I mean he splashed water all over the place. 

He resurfaced right in front of me with his usual mischievous expression, I was doing my best to stay afloat without accidentally kicking him. I soon realized I was focusing on the wrong aspect of that situation. 

Randy was leaning in for a kiss, in a painfully slow manner. So much so, that I didn't detect his intentions in time to decide what to do and all that whiskey didn't help my reflexes. It's either that or I genuinely didn't know what I wanted to do, so I simply didn't move.

Our lips were just about to meet when he spat a mouthful of water in my face and my first reaction was to start laughing like a maniac, he obviously followed.

''There's something very wrong with you. '' I squealed as my sides were starting to hurt.

''You still would have let me kiss you though. '' 

''I obviously didn't want to embarrass you. '' I tried to play it cool, but I perfectly knew he was never going to let me live that down.     

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