The Perfect Boy

The Fateful Day - 2

Trying to gain my composure, I felt like the world had collapsed on my head.  Everybody was staring at me.  I was so embarrassed, I felt like doing what the ostriches did, hiding my head under the ground, but all around me was hard cold floor.

I heard gasps, shrieks, laughter, chuckles, voices of concern all around me.

And then I felt a hand grabbing my arm, without permission, pulling me up.   These past years, I was very seldom touched by another.  The course of tingles traveled on my back.  Not knowing who it was, for a while I rested my weight on the person who supported me with one hand under my armpit and embraced me with the other. And then I gazed into the pair of eyes that had caused stirring in my heart all this while – velvety, smoky, char coal black, all mixed to create the most beautiful and charming eyes I had ever seen.

I wouldn't have thought it was him.  He could be the Flash or some other super hero, because he was sitting 15 meters away and there were other people closer to me than he and yet here he was; he must have pushed his way through the crowd and be the hero rescuing a poor boy in distress, me,  and really made my day.  Not that I wanted to be rescued.  I just so wanted to die right there and then and go to heaven because this world had already recorded my one flaw.

I heard voices. People talking to me. Asking me how I was. Whether I was all right or not.  Whether I injured my precious nose or not.  To me they were simply noises because my hearing would only allow in that one voice that asked me :"are you okay?", the voice of an angel.  All other voices were a simple distraction and in my mind I kept them at bay, all so that I could safely usher in that particular voice belonging to that one particular boy.

A truly stunning voice fit for the person – calming, caring, assuring - all displayed in full regalia in my mind as he asked me further questions and explained himself to me. His voice caused me to see colors in my head and hear sounds in my heart.

Teachers and classmates who encircled me quickly scurried away, probably to help me be at ease and avoid further embarrassment, knowing that there was a prince in shining armor rescuing me already.

If I looked myself in the mirror at that time, I was sure I would see a face dipped in red paint. I was blushing internally as well – I could feel it. How could I be so careless? I was the perfect guy after all – the one who had no blemish and whose reputation was sterling. Within 30 minutes of my being aware of his presence, he had caused my fortress to collapse and I was looking like a total fool to others and most especially to him. O my, did I want to stop breathing.

I had no idea what became of me. Why I felt as I felt; why I did as I did. It was like I lost my perfection in the presence of a person whom I was acquainted with for the life of me. The reputation of being strong, full of integrity, a person of influence had followed me all through my high school years. I built it so carefully, trying to make sure no gap remained as I built myself higher and higher each day. And then this happened. He happened.

In the back of my mind, I knew he existed before. I had seen him around. He was one of those jocks whom I detested. And even if he was okay, I would not even so much as look at him as I would not do at any boys in school. Never in my life was I attracted to boys before - well not entirely true, but I had buried it way deep since ages ago.  It was always girls for me, even though they did not do much to me also. Only one person had so much effect in my life, her name was Michelle, but I totally disconnected my feelings toward her when she committed suicide exactly one year ago today. I knew that only by keeping myself busy, I would be able to rid of the thoughts about her that were causing pain in my chest and ache in my head.