The Perfect Boy

Guardian

"For a fourth-grader, he wrote very well," Osaka said.

"Well, he is good writer. He enrolled in some writing classes during summer."

"Do you want to continue?" Osaka asked.

"Let me rest a bit. Grab something to eat first."

After 15 minutes, we opened the next note. It was attached to a wrist strap with my name on it :  Aspen Robin Chua-Drury. Room 303. Mary the Immaculate Hospital.

I remembered I was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. End of fifth Grade. Summer time. I was having severe headache. The doctors had performed many tests on me, but were still unable to pinpoint my exact sickness. They thought there was some tumor in my brain, but they couldn't find it. I felt awful. In fact, I couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight, couldn't stand. I screamed in pain most of the time. If it wasn't for the painkillers and tranquilizers, I would have spent many sleepless nights. What made it worse was that my parents weren't around. They had to attend some important business in Bangkok. So, I was left with Aunt Elle, my father's cousin. But she was too overwrought in taking care of her own children that she neglected me at the hospital. It was Ben who stayed by my side 24/7.  He even skipped classes.

By now, Andrew joined us in the den. After telling him what the mess was all about, he looked so curious. He shook his head many times.

"I knew you two were close, but I never thought he harbored so much love for you, bro."

"Aspen, do you want to continue?" Osaka asked.

"Ok."

"I will read the note then."

"Today is the 6th day Aspen is in the hospital. They replaced his wrist strap today because it had become dirty. I hardly had any sleep. A total of maybe 10 hours in 5 nights. But I would continue doing this, only for him. He looks so frail in that bed. And I am so afraid that he will not wake up from his sleep. I am going to be all alone without him and I don't know what I am going to do if that happens. This morning the doctor said that he didn't show any signs of improvements. He was put under induced coma to help his brain, so they said.

I keep this strap in the box as a sign of this time for me, for us. I will always remember this time. The time when it hurts so much. The time when I feel so helpless not being able to help. But this time also reminds me of how much I love, how much I feel I want to cling to the one I love, how I will anything just for him. I don't know if I can stand another night, but I will do it. Sacrifice is the highest expression of love, that is what is I find through all this."

The emotion was so thick in that room, you could feel it on your skin. Andrew cried. Osaka wept. I sobbed.

"He was there almost the entire time you were hospitalized. He hardly spent any day outside, other than the two days Aunt Elle came to the hospital. He was there for nineteen days, taking care of you," Andrew murmured.

"He cleaned Aspy up. He changed him. Ben was like Aspy's guardian. Ben asked the nurse to do it. They allowed him because the head nurse was his aunt and he was used to it because he was involved in voluntary hospice care," Andrew added.

"Hey, there's more on the other side," Kaka said.

"I know now from all this, how much painful love is. It makes me suffers. It sucks the life out of me; it drains me of tears; it leaves me shackled. But after it all, I will say one thing, I will do it over again if only to love more. If I could, I would rather be in that bed than Robbie. My heart shatters every time I see him."