The Perfect Boy

Immersed in the Memories of Love

I picked up a worn-out left shoe that I owned once upon a time, when I was in the fourth grade I thought. I read the note that was attached to it.

"With this shoe, he has trekked many roads with me. This shoe is just a shoe, but the owner of it means the world to me. This shoe belongs to a person who has been through a lot. But I am glad, I was there with him through out the storms in his life. I picked up the owner of this shoe many times when he fell down. With this shoe, he has run into my embrace countless times. I am glad he is my friend. Today, I picked up this one shoe from the garbage bin, Aspy has worn them out, it is time that I place one in my memory box."

I was trembling, tears were streaming down my eyes. Osaka was sobbing next to me. He held my shoulder with his right arm. We stayed there for a while. I had no strength to look at the other notes, yet. The feeling was just too overwhelming for me. I didn't realize Ben kept details of my life in a box. I even noticed some items that belonged to me, but they must have been after our separation. I wanted to save that for later.

I didn't realize I meant so much to him.

"I hope what you are seeing will lift your spirit up, especially from the ashes of how Ben treated you all these years," Osaka whispered into my ears.

"He loved you all along. He was just too scared of himself when you came out to him." I sobbed onto the chest of Osaka. I never felt so relieved. It was like like a ton of burden was lifted off my shoulder.

Osaka flipped the note and had a look of surprise. So, he said,"there is something else written on the other side. Let me read it to you."

"One memory I had with Aspy when he was still in this shoe was when I accompanied him to go and see his parents in Hong Kong. What made it so special wasn't because he paid for my airfare and accommodation, but that I was there together with him, wandering around in a foreign country. This shoe stride along with mine. In the sea of crowd and in the midst of the throng of strangers, it was like it was just the two us, he and I walking down this road called life. If I had a way, I would go back in time when this shoe and the other one were still new. When the owner of them could still fit in them. Ahh, I wish I could replay those times again, so I can see myself with Aspy in it."

Osaka looked into my eyes. "What is it?" I asked.

"I know what you are missing all these years. It feels so good to be loved. And with Ben leaving you, you must have been very miserable. Having all those good times with him and all of a sudden being robbed from it, it must have been agonizing for you."

I let a deep sigh, immersing myself in the memories together with Ben that resurfaced.