Finally~AmeriPan

Chapter three

I stared at my phone with a huge lump in my throat, as I scrolled through my contacts. The first one that appeared was Mattie's, which made me feel even more guilty then I already was. It wasn't like I wanted to leave him there, and if I could, I would go get him!

Though, if I go back there....I don't think I could make it across the room before he could go berserk on me. He could have killed me with that beer bottle! Okay well, like not kill but brutally injure me if he had the chance yeah.

I didn't meant to abandon Mattie in the first place you know. It wasn't supposed to happen at all like that. Maybe if I wasn't such a coward I would go back for him you know? But I can't. Not like this. Not yet.

Besides, I need to focus on where I am before I decided to go back, you know? I'm my own country, and nobody can take that away from me. Also. Japan makes some good damn food!

As I continued to flip through my phone, when I heard the back door open and close. I looked behind me from where I was sitting and noticed Japan venture outside with some gardening tools. Bored and nothing to do, I followed behind him quietly, and went to a patio chair to see what he was planting.

With a skill like no other, he gracefully began to pat the dirt and use a shovel to dig. He sprinkled seeds into the earth and I marvelled how well he caressed his other plants. For some reason, I couldn't resist but to smile at how well he took absolute care in his plants. It surprised me, as well as making me feel really weird.

I didn't know how to explain it, it was a really odd feeling that I don't think I've felt before really. My stomach did odd twists and my head felt really dizzy. I figured it was just the heat, so I went back inside to cool off. This was my second day in Japan's house, but I already started to feel better.
~
That night, I sat outside and watched the stars. Years ago, I had wanted to study the stars and galaxies, and pretty much the whole universe. I remember sitting up on a hill with Mattie and we talked for hours about the sky, with his questions bursting about. I realized that even though I had this vast knowledge that was right in front of me, I let it go.

Explaining the stars and galaxies and nebulas to him is just as good as learning about them. I know, it's kinda girlish, but Mattie was always there when I needed him, you know? It was different. We always had each other's backs, but now I felt like I abandoned him.

I continued to stare at the millions of little stars and tried to ignore the build-up of guilt in my chest. I closed my eyes tight and balled my fists, trying to calm down.

"Dammit." I hissed.

"America?" I heard Japan say as he stepped out of the house.

I looked down and furiously wiped the tears that had began to run down my cheeks.

"Yeah?" I asked, forcing a smile as I turned towards him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"'Course I am, I'm always okay bro! I'm the hero!" I said, throwing up my arms and pushed back down the guilt.

"I just thought..." He trailed off and stopped himself.

"Never mind. I'm grad you're okay." He mumbled and went back inside the house.

I turned back around and rubbed my eyes. Excess tears managed to sneak back down my cheeks and I wiped them off, but the guilt remained, as well as the worry. I wanted to know Matt was okay, ya'know? Did Dad try to hurt him at all? Did Papa and Matt leave?

I didn't know at all. It was horrible to think about, but I imagined Matt stuck inside a closet with nothing to eat and Dad laughing drunk outside. Anger then took hold and I stood up furiously, before kicking a patio chair across the backyard and stomping back into the house, cursing Dad all the way up to my room.
~
Day three rolled around and I woke up rather angry again, but pushed it back down and forced myself to smile. I smelled something oddly familiar as I dressed, and my heart had beat a bit faster as I made my way downstairs.

I sniffed the air again before my eyes widened and I ran down them, bursting into the kitchen before startling Japan.
The grin disappeared from my face as I found he was the only one there.

"U-Uh....Good morning America. I'm making rice pancakes, a speciar recipe I had corrected from your brother I presume." He said before flipping them.

"I hope I'm not rude, but what was his name again?"

"Mattie." I answered sadly.

"His name is Mattie." I finished before sitting down at the table.
~
Japan gave me my share and I sat down to eat rather quietly for once. The only sound was our chewing and the clock ticking. I guess it was rather comfortable being silent for once. Eating the familiar food made me feel like I was home again, so I closed my eyes and imagined Mattie pouring syrup on my pancakes as Dad and Papa argued over who would get the orange juice first.

It was fun watching them bicker and 'fight' because you know they never did. Not really. They wouldn't fight in front of us, but me and Dad...
We took it too far.