What Was Ours

One-shot

"I thought I told you not to look for me. I'm busy. So, let's make it quick."

I didn't have any time, right now. My time was taken up on looking over a potential contract. A contract that could be the best thing to happen to this company. I decided to stop since my lover refused to talk. I looked up to see him shaking. What put him like this? I stood up and got up close to him. I observed him. He had an envelope held tightly in his hands. The paper was going to be indented. I took the envelope from his hands. He held tightly to it like he didn't want me to read it. It drew more curiosity. What did it contain?

"Jin?" I said and I took out the letter. The first line read the name of a clinic not far from our apartment. It wasn't something I was expecting. The letter was nothing more than a test saying he was pregnant.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. And I know you said not to come here or your house. I—it's just I'm never sure when you'll come see me." His voice was shaking.

"You didn't pick up the phone." He excused himself. The evidence was the missed calls on my phone which were ignored.

There was a chilling shock coursing my body. I'm going to be a father again. This time it wouldn't be with my wife. What am I going to do? I thought I had been precautious and Jin had been on birth control. We both knew this couldn't happen.

"Fuck! Jin! I told you since the beginning that my priority was my family. You knew this wouldn't amount to anything. What do you want me to do?!" I raised my voice. I wasn't angry but I was frustrated. Frustrated because I couldn't do anything about this. I could only bring financial support and an occasional visit.

If they were lucky, I could probably sneak away and visit them a few days out of the year. They couldn't be my priority. That wouldn't be fair. Jin probably could see this happen. I needed this job to help maintain both lives. The company wasn't mine. It belonged to my wife's family. I was fucked if they ever found out about me being unfaithful. It wasn't like I cared about money but I had build a life and started a family with my wife. Jin was a life apart from that—a secret well kept.

Everything seems to be crumbling down.

Jin wasn't part of this world. He barely had any money when he met me. He wouldn't understand me. I don't understand him either. That was partly my fault for not caring to know him personally. I played house with him. That's all I did. I didn't mean to commit myself to him or to a life with him. I just liked the way he looked after me. I didn't mean to leave him pregnant.

My lover was crying before me. His face was red—almost purple— and he couldn't look at me. His sobs could be heard. Jin was having a hard time trying to contain himself. I couldn't bring myself to provide comfort because I didn't want him to misunderstand. It could lead him to think that I was going to leave my family. I wasn't going to get a divorce and start a life with him. It wasn't logical.

My wife and I had two wonderful children. I love my two children. They're so small, yet; they wouldn't comprehend if my wife and I separated and why I wouldn't see them anymore. Because I was sure once they learned that it was due to unfaithfulness, they would make sure I never see my children again. Jin wouldn't take me away from them. I'd support Jin and my son or daughter financially but they couldn't expect more.

"Go home. I'll see you after work. I'll have a contract ready. You'll get monetary support. Think of where you want to live. I want you two to have a nice home. I'll contact my lawyer."

He slapped me. I didn't see it coming. My cheek stung. I touched it. My hand felt cold compared to the skin on my cheek.

"Don't come. If that's the way it's going to be—fine. I'll talk to your lawyer. I only want support until I can work. It'll be after giving birth to the baby. You're a fucking coward Jungkook. I wish I could hate you. I really do."