What Was Ours

3D. Belong

I was glad we reached home. The small one-story home was still like I remembered it. It was blue with black window sills. It wasn't much but it was home. It felt good to be back. Even the air felt and smelled different. This was my chance to lay it all out to my parents. I could finally tell them everything and the real reason I came back. I knew they would listen to me but the timing didn't seem right. Perhaps, timing had nothing to with it. The whole car ride I'd been too afraid, too hesitant to talk about it. I feel like home would be a good place to be when I finally say it all. I'm still nervous because it's inevitable for them not to be disappointed in me. I'd wasted all their hard earned money for nothing. I wouldn't graduate from a prestigious university with high honors like I did for high school. My educational life was on hold, at the moment.

I want to finish what I started. I want to make my parents proud and I want to give my child a better future. In order to provide for my family, I needed to finish my degree. It would take time. I could probably be able to get some financial aids if I applied for it. It could cover most of the costs. I just couldn't study right now. I'm afraid that Mister Jeon is out there looking for me. He had the power to take my child away and I don't want that. The baby is mine. He's the only person I've got besides my small family. I couldn't lose. It was better to remain here— hidden from the world.

"Are you okay?" My eomma patted my back. I nod without adding anything. I help papa carry my luggage inside.

"Surprise!" I see a handful of people which were family and friends. There's not many due to the spacing of the farms. Very few were close you ours. People surrounding us had bigger farmlands. It didn't matter how many people showed up I was thankful.

Most everyone looked different. There was signs of aging. It was normal. I had missed out by being away all these years. Still, they had friendly smiles. I couldn't help but want to hug every single one of them. I hadn't spoken to most of them, since the day I left. They may be here at a crucial time for me but I love them. I go over to hug every single one of them. My time to confess has been put on hold.

I take my time to greet every single one of them. I try and avoid being too friendly. I wasn't ready to talk. More like I wasn't in the mood. I felt bad because they're all friendly and want to know how I am, among other things.

"You've gained some weight, Jinnie. You actually look healthy. The city did you some good." Jiminie–hyung pulls me in his arms. I hug him. He's changed too. He's muscular and his chubby cheeks are mostly gone. Everyone had a slight changed with the years. It's inevitable for us to grow older.

"Hyung! Look at you!" I pull back but he pulls me back in for a hug. I can't help but laugh. My mind takes me back to the time when it was just him and I. He'll always be the same hyung who's loving and protective of me.

"Careful there, Jimin. Jin got better looking. He probably has a boyfriend he hasn't told us about. You want to tell us something, Jin?" My uncle teased us. I go red because I know there's questions that I won't be able to avoid.

"Uncle Donghae!" I try to slip from hyung's arms. I'm uncomfortable now. It was embarrassing when they made assumptions about us. And I'm starting to get worried he'll feel my baby bump. It's barely there but I can't help but feel self–conscious about it.

"He can't have a boyfriend. Jinnie promised to come back and marry me. Isn't that right?" He lets go of me slightly so he can see me. This is crazy. I never promised such a thing. They like to tease me.

"Hyung, I never made that promise. You're crazy." I pull away and go to hug uncle Donghae. They can tease me now but I'm sure I'm safer in uncle's hands. He'll let me go freely out of his arms.

"You promised to marry me when we were younger." Jimin–hyung pouts and it's as cute as I remember. I smile reminiscing and shake my head.

"I was seven. You can't take that seriously. I was too young to know better. You're no husband of mine." I try to lash back. It's a weak attempt but I try.

Jiminie–hyung still remembers. He probably remembers a bunch of embarrassing moments; which will give him an opportunity to tease me later on. This by far may be the most embarrassing promise I made when I only had eyes for Jimin–hyung. When I thought he'd be the only boy in my life that mattered. He'd been ten when he asked me if we'd ever marry. I'd been quick to say yes. I believed that I had found love. He was nothing more than a hyung to me. I'd been confused to think of his friendship as something more.

"Stop bothering Jinnie. Let's eat." Eomma guides us to the dining room where there's plenty of dishes which could feed more people than those present here. I sit near my parents in my usual spot. It's like they saved it just for me, all this time.

The meal had been great. No one asked me anything outside of school matters and what I'd experienced in the big city. I answered truthfully to their questions. I asked how things were around here while I was gone. I know I had called every week but it wasn't quite the same as hearing it from them. Many things came up which weren't told to me. One of them bring that we could possibly lose our home. My parents had changed the subject immediately before I could ask for further details. It was another thing we had to talk about. I'd have to wait until everyone leaves.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" Uncle Donghae asked when some of the neighbors had left. It was only my parents, him, and Jimin–hyung. Hyung lived here which was new to me.

"No, I...I never had one," I looked for my parents for help. I didn't want to seem like a liar later on but technically I didn't have a boyfriend. This would avoid further questioning.

"You don't want to tell us? You're trying to cover it up. It's okay. There's no need to worry. It's better over there, they're more liberal about those things. I hear men get pregnant these days. It's interesting how we differ from the city." Uncle Donghae hits a topic too close to home.

"It's strange. I never heard of such a thing. It's never happened here. And we've had our fair share of couples come out." Jimin comments which begins a conversation on male pregnancies. They start debating about it. Mostly, if it's real or fake. There's so many opinions being tossed between them. They don't believe in it. And I want to laugh because here I'm standing before them pregnant. They can't deny something that's happening. I need them to believe in it, to help me through this. This is real. I can't be on my own with this. I'm tired of feeling alone, tired of feeling like the world can cave in on me. I need someone to tell me everything will be alright.

"I'm pregnant!" I scream. It's silent for a moment before they start laughing. They think I'm joking. They're laughing while I'm tearing up because they don't believe me and I feel alone again. They're not taking me seriously. I need help.

I'm full on crying. I can't bear to look at them. I hear them stop laughing. My face is close to my lap. My hands on my face because I'm starting to sob hysterically. I want to stop the feeling, the tears, the shakes, and everything that makes me feel weak. I feel someone near me. Her gentle hands wrap around me. The aroma is that of my eomma. I hold her and let myself cry.

"You're okay, Jinnie. We're here for you. We've got you. We always have and this time is no different." She caresses me. "We're here. We'll get through this, I promise."

I hold onto her, and her promise. They're here for me. They'll give me support and love. They're all I have. I'm crying relieved that there's something to hold onto. I had them with me. I'll be okay, we'll be okay.

January 20, 2019
The next part...JK? Not sure but it's coming.
Last chapter some of you made me think if you're paying attention to the little details I leave? Perhaps I'm messing with you all by not giving you clear responses haha 😆