"Remember, we agreed to talk to Mister Jeon, today," I say as I brush my teeth. Meanwhile, he's finishing up his weekday morning routine: he's almost ready for work. It's simply a quick reminder of a meeting we both are dreading to attend.
Mister Jeon had insisted we talk and it didn't matter to him if Hyungie was there, which surprised me but I was willing to give him a chance for our daughter. Yet, it didn't mean I wasn't hesitant to talk to him because there will always be doubt when it comes to Mister Jeon. Hyungie taught me to give everyone the opportunity to prove themselves and this was the one and only time I'm willing to give him a chance.
"I know," he groans. "Is Jimin going to pick up Jisoo from school?" He asks as he tucks his shirt into his pants. It's a gesture that's done carelessly and effortlessly, something he's perfected in all his years of repetition. It's cuter when he looks sleepy, just like today.
"Yes." I spit the toothpaste in order to talk properly. Also, I rinse my mouth before continuing. "She'll spend the night there. She has everything she needs and we don't need to worry about it. She's safe with Jiminie. He'll drop her off tomorrow at school. All we have to do is pick her up."
"I'm not worried—not about her anyways. I just don't want that man to think he can come into your life and try to crawl his way into this family we built. Jisoo has plenty of fathers and pretty damn good ones too," he sighed. I know he doesn't want to have this conversation with Mister Jeon and I'm hesitant too. It's contradictory from what he's taught me—to give people a second chance. I was indecisive when I said yes to Mister Jeon and I'm close to backing out now.
"He's not replacing you or any of us. Jisoo loves us and he's got a lot of catching up to do if he wants to be part of her life," I paused. "I know we're both hesitant. We don't know his true intentions but I've got to give him the benefit of the doubt. If his heart isn't in the right place, then we can keep our distance like we have been doing this whole time. I just don't want Jisoo to feel like we didn't give her the opportunity to have a relationship with her birth father."
"I know. It's just hard when it's the man that broke your heart." He kisses my forehead before walking out of the room. "I see the way he looks at you, when he thinks no one is looking and I don't like it."
The discussion is done because there's nothing I can say to reassure him that nothing will change. I don't dare say that Mister Jeon only broke my young spirit, the naive self and nothing more. The only people who can truly break my heart are those in my family portrait—only a handful of people. And Hyungie might be the one who can truly break me completely.
Hyungie and I sit waiting for Mister Jeon in a small cafe. The place had been picked in order to avoid any potential scenes; at least, I hoped. Both of us are anxious due to the uncertainty behind this conversation. I hoped Mister Jeon had Jisoo's best interest at heart and wanted nothing more than to form a relationship with her. If it was more, then there was nothing further to discuss. The nerves were building up, I was more nervous about Jisoo than for myself. Above everything, I want her to have an opportunity to know about her true background and I can't really speak on behalf of Mister Jeon. He's the only one who knows his truth. I don't want her to ever have doubts of who she is, where she came from or who her father was. This is why I'm doing this, I remind myself. I'm doing this for her.
I play with the tea cup and saucer. It's too hot to drink. Hyungie and I should talk further besides deciding to stick together and do what's best for Jisoo. I know we both want her wellbeing but are there limitations? What are the boundaries we should set? Does Hyungie have concerns beyond those he spoke about? I know this makes him uncomfortable but he's here. He's trying to move past this, along with me, for our daughter. We should've talked beforehand.
Mister Jeon is taking an eternity or it feels that way due to my anxiety. I touch my cell phone screen to see the time. It shows that it's five minutes past the meeting time. Maybe he isn't going to show up at all. At least, I hoped he wouldn't.
"Should we finish our drinks and head to the bakery to get some sweets? We can go see Jisoo or we can go to the park for a small date. Your option." Hyungie smiles. The options sound promising. I nodded my head in agreement. There's no way that he'll show up.
The coffee shop door rings signaling that someone has walked in or out. And just like the curious kid who hasn't grown out of habit, I look up to see who it is. It's none other than Mister Jeon. Our secondary plans have been put on hold, the tension has built once again. I can see from the corner of my eye Hyungie stiffen again. Is there anyway I can assure him that there's nothing to worry about? No. I, myself, don't even know.
"Sorry, I'm late. I was stuck in traffic." He explains. I just hope this isn't an excuse like the many I heard before. I don't want to hear lies anymore.
"What did you think about the conversation?" The million dollar question has been asked. I don't know how to respond. The conversation is replaying in mind ready to be nitpicked. I'm trying to find something or anything that leaves doubt to his true intentions.
The silence between us, it's nothing more that serene and thoughtful. Hyungie and I are taking a small walk before heading home. We both needed some thinking to do. It was time to decide what our options are regarding Mister Jeon. Could we trust him?
"I think it wasn't what I expected. I feel like he asked plenty of questions and it made me feel interrogated. I don't think he's doing this to get close to Jisoo or know about her." I'm still trying to remember everything said. Only bits and pieces stick out in my mind and not many were about Jisoo.
"I felt that way too but I didn't want to say it. I'm overprotective with you two and I didn't want you to think I was over analyzing, trying to read between the lines. And maybe I am but it felt like he wanted to know more about you than her. He wanted to be just you and him. That's my problem with him. He's trying to lure you." Hyungie doesn't sugar coat his thoughts.
"Now, wouldn't that be something? I'm married with a baby on the way, and a loving husband. He's got his own family. What could he give me that you haven't?" He looks at me expecting an answer. "You give me your love unconditionally. I chose you over him a long time ago and I stick by my choice. All I know is that I can't trust him when it comes to Jisoo. If he genuinely takes an interest in her, then I'll see what we do but for now I say it's best to continue how we are. We don't have to change anything."
"You really know how to put my mind at ease." He smiles and kisses me. "I love you."
"I know." I smile. "You're my one and only."
August 12, 2019
I know some may be wondering what was said during their meeting but I decided to exclude it because I simply couldn't write it without feeling like I accomplished the feel of it. Anyways, here's this month's chapter! It seems I update monthly now 🤯 I'm shocked too
Questions here, if you have any.
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What Was Ours
FanfictionHis silence was louder than words. I was bursting out in tears. I was trying to hold back the sobs that were forming. There it was stuck in my throat without a way out. I was going to choke in my tears. I didn't want to be seen like this. This was a...
