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9. Goodbye

They ate in an awkward silence. Yuna said something every once in a while to try to start a conversation or ease the tension, but Da Reum seemed uninterested and slightly irritated, while Taeyong just had no idea what to say to the little brother of the girl he just slept with, who walked in and found him in his underwear.

"Once we are done, I will clean up and then be on my way." Taeyong said cautiously after taking a bite.

Yuna's eyes fell to the table. She set down her spoon and gave a little nod before lifting her cup to take a drink.

"Ok. I will take a shower while you two clean up, then I will walk you as far as the park to send you off." She said without looking at him.

Da Reum sat and watched the strained exchange between the two, wondering why she would care about that if they were supposed to be breaking up. He was puzzled by the dynamic between them. Didn't people break up because they don't like eachother anymore or things didn't work out? Why did it feel as though it was not a break up, but rather some situation as if he was reluctantly being sent off to war or something?

Yuna excused herself from the table and went to her room. Taeyong's eyes were glued to her as she stood up and disappeared behind the door. He sighed and stood up, collecting dishes and putting them in the sink.

Da Reum watched him as he mechanically turned on the water and got to work. He finished his last bite and got up to hand his bowl to Taeyong, then picked up a towel and held out his hand as an offer of help. Taeyong looked at him blankly and handed him the spoons he had just finished washing.

"Say what you need to." Taeyong said bluntly.

Da Reum unhurriedly ran the towel along the utensils. He promised Yuna he would not ask, but his brotherly instincts got the better of him and told himself it was fine as long as it wasn't her that he was asking.

"Why are the two of you breaking up?"

"She's too good for me and with me, she will only get hurt." He answered flatly, focusing on scrubbing the pot in front of him.

"Does she also think so?"

"I think she understands. It doesn't matter, anyway. She will forget me quickly. I am a single blink out of the lifetime that her eyes have been open. There is nothing for either of us to miss or be hurt by, except a missed opportunity...something that died before it ever got the chance to live." Contradictory to his somber words, a small smile formed on his face. "Don't worry though, your noona is smart and strong. She knows what's best for her and for both of you. She will be fine, no matter what."

Da Reum listened attentively. He felt more confused than he did before, but knew he shouldn't ask any more. Taeyong shut off the water and handed him the last bowl. He looked him in the eyes and laid his hand on his shoulder.

"But still...take good care of her." He gave his shoulder a final pat and walked to Yuna's door, giving it a light knock.

"I'm done." He called out.

***

They stepped out on to the sidewalk. An icy breeze blew past them and Yuna pulled her jacket tighter around her and hunched her shoulders, covering her neck a little more with her scarf.

"You don't have to do this. It's freezing out here, you'll catch a cold. Just go back in."

She glanced up at him and just started walking, ignoring what he just said. He let out a weak laugh, caught up to her and matched her pace. They walked slowly as if they were leisurely spending time together like they had they other day when they went to the park, but this time they walked in silence. Though they dragged their feet and stalled as much as possible, they made it the short distance to the park. They stopped walking and he turned to face her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked after standing in front of her with their eyes quietly locked together for what seemed like hours.

"Like what?"

"Like you're sad."

"I'm not sure myself, actually. When I think about it, it makes no sense. I feel like I'm going a little crazy, to be honest. I met you only a few days ago. How could I feel like this after only a few days? What got us here? Danger? Necessity? Boredom? I don't understand myself. There shouldn't be this stuffiness in my chest at the thought of you leaving. I hardly know you, yet something inside me is screaming that I want to know you more and to cling to you and that you leaving is not ok." Her lips pressed into a line and her eyebrows furrowed.

His eyes fell on her face, his features forming into what he was sure was unintentionally too sentimental of a gaze. It's like she was reading the thoughts in his heart and repeating them out loud.

"I won't ask you to stay though." She continued. "I understand that I can't. Especially after seeing Da Reum standing in front of me, I know that I can't take the risk that you're warning me about. I feel sorry saying that, but even though I feel like this, I will always choose what is best for him." She clenched her hands at her sides and nodded, reassuring herself. He smiled.

"Don't ever be sorry for that. That's what you should do. I don't know how I got to this point either, but I want you to know that I'm grateful for everything...for saving my life, for making me laugh and giving me comfort, for somehow burrowing into my heart like a parasite and letting me experience feelings that I never have before. This dream is way out of my reach, but I'm truly thankful that I was able to live it even for a short time. The only way I can repay you is to disappear. I am a stranger. I am insignificant and whatever is in your heart now will fade and you'll be safe and happy. That's all I can give you."

He reached up and gently put a hand on her cheek, knowing that he shouldn't, but selfishly succumbing to his wish for one last touch. She caught the gleam of dampness forming around the corners of his eyes before he shut them and leaned down, softly kissing her forehead.

"Thank you." He whispered, his lips still hovering closely over her skin. Without another word or glance, he turned and walked away. She swallowed back the lump she felt in her throat and left in the opposite direction.

He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, then pulled the phone from his pocket and dialed a familiar number.

"Hyung, are you ok?" The voice answered.

"Come get me." He instructed.