Sanders Sides Oneshots

Intrusive Thoughts (Platonic Moxiety)

TW: Intrusive thoughts, OCD and overall anxiety. In this oneshot, Virgil has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

If you are able to, please read the note at the bottom.

"I'm going outside!" Virgil called to Patton, opening the front door and stepping out into the porch. It was pouring rain, which was his favorite weather.

"Okay, kiddo!" the moral trait yelled back. This was a normal thing, as Virgil usually tells Patton where he's going in case . . .

"Love you!" Virgil yelled. This was normal as well, for Virgil really did see Patton as a father-figure.

"Love you, too!"

Virgil started to close the door, but it was like something was . . . Off. Virgil yelled again.

"Love you!"

He waited for Patton to answer, his heart beating a little faster at how long it took him to respond.

"Love you!" he repeated.

"Love you, too!"

Oh no, he had said the phrase three times. Virgil hated doing things in threes, and he never really knew why. It just bothered him. It didn't feel right.

Virgil tried to push these thoughts away, closing the front door behind him. But the intrusive thoughts invaded his mind.

You said the phrase three times. Something bad will happen now, idiot.

Virgil flexed his fingers into a fist, four times in total. It relieved a bit of his anxiety, and he walked off the porch, into the pouring rain.

He let the raindrops run over his body, and his arms were spread out like a bird soaring through the sky. Little things, little distractions, helped him sometimes as well.

Until the thoughts come flying in.

You can die out here. Only Patton will know, and he'll have to find you and—

Make fist. Release. One.

Make fist. Release. Two.

Make fist. Release. Three.

Make fist. Release. Four.

Deep breaths.

No bad thoughts, no bad thoughts.

Think happy. No bad thoughts, no bad thoughts!

In his mind, he sounded childish, like a little kid trying to threaten a scary, much larger adult.

Virgil kept clenching and unclenching his fists, over and over. But each time it just didn't feel right.

Help . . .

"Kiddo? Come inside, you're going to get sick!"

Virgil's head snapped up. He was getting better at this, hiding his rituals from his fellow sides. The sound of Morality's voice was like a beam of sunshine in his cloudy, stormy mind.

"I'm coming!"

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

He repeated these two words over and over, as if one time, they would magically help what he was feeling.

When he got the door, Patton was waiting for him, holding a mug of fresh hot chocolate. Once the anxious side went inside, Patton handed him the mug, giving him a warm smile before suggesting they watched a movie together.

Virgil agreed, and he curled into the corner of the couch, the thoughts at bay now.

To others, they may not understand what Virgil does, or perhaps they find it strange. But for Virgil, this was just another day in his everyday life.

*
AN

I've been wanting to write a oneshot tackling this topic at some point.

As someone who currently has OCD, it constantly angers me and annoys me how often OCD is portrayed as a 'quirk', or that people use the term so loosely without even caring, even joking about it, which isn't okay. It's serious.

All the rituals, the intrusive thoughts Virgil  battles in this oneshot are things I personally experience everyday, though OCD comes in different forms for many people. Out of all the sides I could have used for this, I chose Virgil not just because he's anxiety, but because he is honestly a very relatable character in general, and I feel like he would have these thoughts and so on.

Enjoy, ~Kirs.