Heartstrings

Chapter Twenty-Seven: When in Beijing Part 1

Stay...

Chanyeol shut his eyes for a moment before opening them quickly. The image of Baekhyun sobbing on the cold floor pierced his soul. He wanted to but he still didn't. Because he couldn't look at the mess he has created. Didn't want to walk down the path of guilt. Last night was a terrible mistake, it was something that shouldn't have happened. Ever. But Chanyeol is a selfish bastard who only thinks of himself. His egotistical self was furious because of Seohyun, he needed an escape and Baekhyun was the best option. He always has been. But that doesn't mean Chanyeol wanted things to go how they did. He didn't want to hurt him like this. Now his conscience is killing him for what his drunken self did and unwillingly, Chanyeol is walking along the guilty road.

Don't abandon me...

As the tears of regret and frustrations drenched his shirt, Chanyeol was reminded of all the times he had abandoned Baekhyun, of all those days he left him alone. Since the day he left for the States to till date, all he has done is turn his back on the one person whom he promised to protect. He promised to love. And here he was thinking it was Baekhyun who replaced him.

Do you love me?

Chanyeol's grip tightened on the steering wheel. He wasn't lying when he said that he didn't know. There was a time when he used to love the male with all his heart, he wanted to be his future. But unlike Baekhyun who was loyal to them, Chanyeol was greedy.

Because I still love you.

The car stopped with a screech followed by a loud scream of agony. Why didn't he see? Why didn't he notice? Why did he not listen to his heart? It knew Baekhyun loved him, it knew he longed for him and yet Chanyeol brushed everything off like it was nothing. Maybe Seohyun and Baekhyun were right, he was taking advantage of Baekhyun. Disgust washed over him like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down his spine. He wanted to go back, rectify the mistake- the worst of all he had done. However, the moment slim arms wrapped themselves around him the moment he walked into the apartment, he knew he could not.

"I am sorry!" Seohyun buried her face in his chest and cried. "I am so sorry Yeol! I shouldn't have... said those things! I.. am sorry!"

The guilt that was slowly spreading its territory before now fastened its process. It traveled from his churning guts to the restricted chest and finally conquered his brain killing it without mercy. It made him look like nothing more than a mannequin with every part of his body so stiff that it could break any moment. But what set him on fire was the soft lips that were pressed against his quivering ones. Seohyun was kissing him. The girl he loved like crazy was kissing him and all Chanyeol could remember was the taste of those addicting lips he had abused last night. His ears couldn't listen to the soft 'I love yous' that escaped Seohyun's mouth as the only sound echoing were Baekhyun's moans from last night. Everything else was a blurry image as the beads of sweat on the milky white skin filled his vision. His conscience had labeled it as a grave mistake but then why was Baekhyun taking up all the spaces in his mind? Why was his heart yearning for the night to come back? Why did this moment with Seohyun felt so wrong?

"There's no other that I love, it's only you. And I trust you with my heart Chanyeol. I know you're not going to break it."

He never expected her words will hurt him so much, it felt like a thousand knives just pierced through his heart. Hot tears were already welling up in his eyes. One glance at Seohyun and Chanyeol found himself in middle of a war zone between confessing and hiding. At a point, he thought of telling her the truth but then he didn't have the courage to. Not because he thought she will leave him, but because he didn't want to accept the fact that he ruined everything.