Dead Sirius (Black Butler)

Chapter Thirty Two

~ Ciel's POV~

I couldn't be certain, but I had a feeling Sirius was involved in Derrick's disappearance. If I didn't suspect her she'd be a valuable source for information as she seemed to be above the rules of Weston College and in favor of the P4. She was as wild as ever and did as she pleased, like she had every one of them wrapped around her finger. I had to find my own way to gain the P4's favor as they were the most likely sources of information and the only way to get to the headmaster.

Thankfully McMillan showed up when he had as I didn't know how to react to Sirius' defiance. She had always been on my side, she was always my queen in my chess game of life the only piece I could move wherever I wanted, my trump card that would face any obstacle. My queen had been stolen from me and I was worried I'd lose the match.

McMillan filled me in on the traditions of Weston college and informed me of the hierarchy of the school, the P4 were like captains of each house and the highest student authority of the school with the power to give y's like any of the other staff. The only teaching staff was the housemasters of each house and they saw to the education of all houses each focusing on specific subjects. Each underclassman was a fag to an upperclassman, McMillan explained it as sort of a big brother relationship in which the fag does various chores for their upperclassmen though it sounded more like the lowerclassmen were to play butler to the upperclassmen.

"What about the girls?" I asked him curiously as he was going over the hierarchy as we walked back to the dormitory for the welcome party I wanted no part in.

"Oh, they don't have fags or anything, I'm not sure there is a hierarchy with the girls they mostly keep to themselves and only attend classes and club activities." McMillan noted, "I guess the girl you were talking to earlier, Sirius, is their unofficial leader. She made the entrance exam look like a joke, which is beyond me how because I thought it was pretty tough." He smiled sheepishly. "She's pretty amazing."

I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips and had to fight it away, "Yeah, she is."

"She's really nice too." McMillan smiled. "My first day some upperclassmen were being mean to me and she came to my rescue." He had stars in his eyes, Sirius had a fan, "It was amazing, she's not afraid of speaking her mind."

"That's definitely true." I sighed, "She has quite a sharp tongue."

McMillan grinned at this, "You two seemed close, have you known each other long?"

"We grew up together." I noted distantly as I thought fondly back to our many adventures when we were young and the mystical world Sirius had created for us to escape to. Things would never be as they were. I'd ruined everything because of my pride. I kept pushing her away and relying on her never wavering loyalty, I should have known at some point I'd push her too far and she'd never return, but I had never expected it to happen so soon. "Are she and that prefect, Greenhill, together?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

McMillan frowned at this, "I'm not entirely sure, she's close with all of the P4." He thought for a moment "It's possible, awhile back she was really upset about something she was screaming a lot of profanities and stomping on a bouquet of roses. Everyone was really worried about her, she was crying and Greenhill ran to her aid kind of like her knight in shining armor."

That must have been when Lizzie broke into my stationary. I had no idea she'd been that upset. My stomach churned uneasily as I was overcome with self-loathing. How could I not have expected her to turn against me, I was constantly rejecting her, using her and pushing her away. I'd told myself it was necessary to be cruel to attain my goal, but it was never necessary to be cruel to her. She was an innocent and unnecessary casualty. I was mean to her again today, I hurt her again, as I always did. It was like second nature now, to cause her pain.