Vision of Love {Watty Awards 2012} (LGBT love and fantasy romance)

Explanations Mean Nothing (18)

Explanations Mean Nothing

      “Maria, it’s not what it looks like, it was to get a vision! I swear!” I called, watching as Maria ran from the room. Her presence shocked me, bringing me back to the messed up reality.

      Just as I was about to chase after her, Jasmine grabbed my hand. Just the small touch from her sent electricity through my body. I turned to her, and saw the sadness in her eyes. Begging me not to leave.

      I wanted to stay, but I couldn’t. I can’t. I love Maria. This is nothing, just a figment of my imagination.

      “What the fuck are you doing?!” I spat, my voice sounding nothing like my own “Get off of me vampire twat!” My words echoed eerily around the hall.

      Her body went slack, and she released my hand. I wanted to comfort her. To hug her, stroke her hair, apologise for my harsh words. Kiss her forehead, her cheek and very much her lips. That’s why I ran.

      The last thing I saw were the tears that fell down her cheeks as I ran from the room.

      “Maria!” I yelled, my voice echoing around the halls after her. Everyone was still in class but there was only an hour left until the lunch bell went. I wasn’t worried she wouldn’t forgive me, I was worried that it was too much time alone with her. That didn’t make sense to me.

      Dead ahead of me I saw Maria. Her hair was flowing out behind her as she ran, and in the echoing halls I could have sworn her tears were everywhere.

      “Maria, please!” I cried, tears now forming in my own eyes. “Let me explain! I love you, please!”

      She froze.

      I was thankful for my athletic ability or I wouldn’t have been able to stop and not take her out.

      Turning to face me, Maria’s beautiful eyes shimmered with tears. “Just tell me why” She whispered “Just tell me, out of everyone it could have been, why did it have to be her? Did she tell you she loved you ag- as a plan to get you into bed with her? Or did it mean something?”

      Shaking my head I held Maria’s shoulders, forcing her to look me in the eye with those green orbs of hers. “I needed her to show me a memory. We had to kiss so she could choose which memory to show me.”

      Maria tilted her head, confused. “Why did you need her to show you a memory? What’s happened?” She asked, her voice full of concern.

      I wanted to tell her. But something in my head was begging me not too. But somewhere in my mind was a part that was assuring me not to press this. No one can know.

      Lie to her it said you can’t trust anyone, you must lie. Lie to her Abi, you must.

      “It was something that had happened to Lizzie, I needed to know what was wrong and what had happened and only Jasmine knew. She couldn’t tell me in case she explained it wrong so she showed me instead.” I said, smiling as convincingly as I could. “I’m sorry if I worried you. But it didn’t mean anything.”

      Maria smiled back, although the smile didn’t reach her eyes. There was something in her eyes, only a flash of it, but I could see a small darkness in them. It must have only been a trick of a light, because it was gone in an instant.

      Only then did I wonder why she was here.

      “I wish you had told me about Lizzie, she had sent me a ticket to come see you when you were unconscious. When I came lessons were still going on and I asked where you were and I was told you were asked to meet in the auditorium and….well you know the rest.”