College wasn't for everyone. Or so I had come to find out after I made the biggest choice of my life. Well when we all made our choices. I was curious about what this fall would bring other than homework. Maybe adventure? Happiness? Or sheer pressur...
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Thanks to Adam I was too cold to let my heart be warm again. The warmth of James's touch panicked me. I didn't want to fall into it no matter how much colder the weather got. I wondered how long I'd be isolated to my own personal Siberia. Would I miss the warmth one day? Would I be okay with being embraced? With feeling something? All I knew is I was sure I had seen Adam, at least in my dreams where he began to haunt me again.
Last night's dream was about him leaving again. He drove me furiously to his place above Rachel's garage and packed up as I scrambled to tell him to stop. I cried and he yelled at me putting a framed picture of him and Olivia into his bag.
"Stop crying! I told you I need to get back to her! Stop it!" He yelled at me but I cried still.
"Don't yell at me Adam. Please... Why are you doing this to me?" I asked standing frozen watching him pack but we both kept saying the same things in a cycle that never changed.
So he pulled me back into his car and dropped me off at church. Right up front, in the middle of the day where everyone passed by and stared at me like the latest attraction in town.
"Cold?" My roommate asked as I walked back into bed with my mug. I had never experienced such low temperatures before. The wind almost howled outside between the buildings.
"Yes. You?"
"I'm from Canada."
"Wait what?"
"Oh did I not tell you that?"
"I would've remembered."
"So thanksgiving plans?"
"Yeah. Wanna come?"
"No, I've got plans too. Have fun."
"Thanks."
"Oh also here you go. I almost used the other day thinking it was mine," my roommate gave me James' scarf thinking it was mine.
"Thanks." I accepted it back wondering how he was doing after what happened between us.
James' scarf was soft, plaid, warm, and the tag said it was made of vicuna wool with some kind of pretty emblem on it. I didn't know what vicuna wool was but I put it around my neck to see just how warm it was and pretty soon I was so warm I ended up giving up on my coffee to get ready to go to Sam's place. It was Thanksgiving after all and the first one away from our families.
"Wait did you decorate it again?" I asked Sam walking in with the ingredients needed for our dessert.
"Jenna did, I don't mind either way. Also what's that?"
"Apple pie. I wonder how it'll stack up..." I stopped before comparing it to my mother's pie.
"Let's star with dessert then. The chicken and vegetables are half ready in the oven. Plus I got wine."
