College wasn't for everyone. Or so I had come to find out after I made the biggest choice of my life. Well when we all made our choices. I was curious about what this fall would bring other than homework. Maybe adventure? Happiness? Or sheer pressur...
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We got there in the afternoon so the first night all we had was dinner. They still had the Christmas tree up though I was not sure they had set it up themselves. But it was pretty nonetheless, surely a little bland with the white and cream colored ornaments but who didn't like lights on trees? As I walked around in thick fuzzy socks and a hair bun waiting for dinner James came out and I could feel the awkward tension when our eyes met, he looked away and I didn't know where to stand anymore.
"You should get ready for dinner," he told me.
"Uh..." I thought I was ready for dinner but I guess it obviously wasn't showing so I nodded. "Right. Excuse me."
Back inside the girls' room I walked in and they were getting ready too. Not for a Christmas dinner but more put together than I had managed to achieve. So they looked at me with almost the same face James had.
"Aren't you ready for dinner?" Jenna asked.
"So what should I wear?"
"Black, you look very good in black and some kind of heel. No sneakers." Jenna made it less complicated.
"Thanks, I'll hurry." I ran to my room which they had decided to give me as at least one of us would have to share a room.
A black sweater, over jeans, and the gold earrings grandma had given me for Christmas. Plus the one trick Jackie had taught me, a red lip that didn't move. That's all I had. Just then I thought of the first time I had put on a red lip, Adam for a brief moment flashed over my mind. But he quickly dissipated into the picture of my mother looking at the mirror and doing hers. How she hated it on me, I was too young for it, and I still felt too young for it but I put it on anyway. I wondered if she really didn't want to talk to me or if she was holding on to her pride. If the second then I could give up mine for a reconciliation. I wanted to sit at home once again and taste her pies, I wanted another ordinary morning breakfast with her and dad, another Sunday at church. Just a brief window of family again. But here I was so far away from them and who knew when would be the next time I would get to do it. I tried not to worry about it but I wasn't hopeful for our future.
"Ready Ems?" Sam asked me from the door.
"Coming!" I ran over to her and the three of us walked down together to finally say hi to everyone who was over the house.
It was the same group of friends James usually had around, and the same girl from the first night at his place alongside one of her friends then us three. They said others might still make it for New Years which was the day after depending on the weather. Thankfully the awkwardness for dinner was just between me and James and no one else and it wasn't noticeable either. We were being completely cordial and since I wasn't much of a talker anyway it didn't even matter.
"So what should we play next?" The girl we had met but I kept forgetting her name asked.
