ENVY

31.

Tre

I've literally been sitting in the room staring at my wall since I got home just thinking. And this is why I didn't wanna get involved with her she's too good for me man.

How the fuck did I end up in this situation? I can't believe I allowed myself to fuck this up with Seriyah. One moment of weakness and now look. I've potentially ruined any future with the only girl I've taken seriously in years. To say I was disappointed in my self would be an understatement. I'm embarrassed.. I thought about texting her and telling her but I can't do that to her man. I don't really wanna tell her at all but I know how Lorraine is. Any small issue she'll have no problem with calling Seriyah and letting her know.

How could I have been so dumb.. I knew Lorraine and I should've known she'd be on that jealous and seducing shit. Walking around naked. What the fuck. I was pissed off and had b en arguing with my self since I got in. It was 3am and I hadn't checked my calls or text. I just went home and put my phone off. I know Seriyah she usually goes sleep on the phone to me. So I'm gonna have to lie to her all over again. Kmt 

I won't lie and say I didn't want the sex cause I actually did. Just not with her. I would've preferred it to be with Seriyah but I guess not.

I wanted to tell Aaron as soon as I got in but When I knocked on his door he replied letting me know he was with Monae and we all know I couldn't tell Monae. She's gonna kill me as well. I fucked up bad man.

Seriyah is a beautiful girl and she ain't ever did nothing foul to me ever. So I'm angry I did that to her. Just after she finally agreed to be my girlfriend for real this time and I've fucked it up and cheated on her in less than 24hours. That has to be a world record. Over 7 months of working hard trying to get her and I'm about to lose her within the next 7 hours. Dumb as fuck. I can't believe this.

All my niggas were sleeping so I couldn't ask for no advice.. I'd usually speak to Seriyah but in this situation i couldn't dare. I ain't ever lied to Seriyah before and I didn't wanna start now either but it was looking like I have to. I didn't wanna tell her I just fucked another girl after I told her I wanted her and was spitting all that jazz in the park earlier then end up cheating? I was supposed to dead everything with Lorraine and only ended up digging myself a bigger hole.

I sighed and shook my head before deciding to put my phone on. As soon as I put my phone on all my notifications started coming in and I noticed a few texts from Seriyah...

Seriyah:
Why do I miss you already? 😂 call me when you're finished. 22:37pm
Can you call me? I can't sleep 😫 22:58pm
Well I guess you ain't finished but I'm going bed without you, goodnight boyfriend❤️. 1:09am

I smiled to myself as I read the messages. She's really supposed to be my girlfriend now... and I'm pissed off at how I've fucked up man. I got her out of her shell just to put her right back in it. I know Aaron's gonna cuss me as well. He looks at Seriyah as a younger sister so I know he's gonna be jazzing as well. I don't even know what to do. I scrolled through my phone aimlessly looking for something to take my mind off the situation but nothing seemed to work.

I decided on just calling Seriyah to see if she'd pick up. I rang and didn't get no reply which I was slyly happy about. Just as I was about to hang up she picked up the call. I wasn't expecting her to actually pick up the phone so I didn't even know what to say.... It was quiet for a second before the shuffling started and I heard that beautiful voice I had fallen asleep to, one too many times....