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(Listen to the song as you read 😩❤️)
I had been in London for the past 4 days and I'm sure I've never been so happy to get home to London. The last few days of Croatia were terrible and I was more than looking forward to getting the fuck out of there and away from everyone.
I had kept my distance from everybody for the last 4 days because I just wanted to be alone. I've had time to reflect and think about everything that happened with Aaron on the beach and I'm still as angry as I was that day.
First of all, Aaron will always be Aaron. A selfish egotistical little boy who never listens. He had no right to call me out of my name and say those things at me on the beach when he didn't understand or even have any clue of what was going on in mine and Alex's relationship.
Ive spent years trying to forget because I hate thinking about the situation... it hurts my heart every single time.
When I met his brother Alex, I had no interest in him whatsoever. I always had a body and was pretty which attracted boys to me from young. I assumed He was just one of these boys that was just on me like everyone at the time. I lost my virginity young and the boy ended up telling everyone which branded me as a whore when I wasn't. I was manipulated and that's what I got. But no one every listens to my side. Just the rumours. Every boy wanted me for sex whether I gave it to them or not.
But with Alex he was consistent and treated me better than any man I've ever known, including my dad. I was automatically attracted to him because of this.
I didn't know his lifestyle at first, I just knew he was A1 from the ends. He was loved by everyone in the area and the more I got around him the more I began to see he was the king in this trapping game, and he had people that both feared him, and hated him too.
I was scared because I wasn't used to this fast lifestyle but Alex always ensured me I wouldn't be involved and that nothing would happen to me. He said he would never allow me to be a part of any of that rubbish. I took his word although I was scared and he kept that promise.
When we started going out, I became the most talked about girl by boys and girls. I was hated. Girls that wanted to be with him disliked me, and his friends that wanted to fuck me had such foul things to say. But Alex never listened and still introduced me to his family and that's how I met Aaron. We were the same age and I knew him from the area but my relationship with Alex is what made me and Aaron click.. he was like my brother once upon a time.
As time went on I had to deal with so much. From trips to the station to bail him out and getting into fights because of girls talking shit but I never once decided I was gonna turn my back on him and I stood through everything. Even though I was 15 I was experiencing real love and I took it for granted.
Aaron will never understand how hard it was for me to carry a child for someone who died and I never even got to give them a proper goodbye. I LOVED Alex with my life and soul. He was the ONLY one who understood me. I never had too many friends Alex was my only friend and losing him was like losing my life and support system.
