Home Sweet Home

a peaceful sunday drive in a MT GD

"Hell yea," I repeated, as I filled Russell's bowl again, with scotch.

"Are you trying to git me drunk? I just want you to know, I don't put out on the first date."

Russell folded his wings across his chest.

I didn't even know a bird could do that.

"You're not my type," I commented, casually.

"AND WHY NOT?"

Russell staggered to the end of the branch nearest me.

"It's the feathers, isn't it? You are just prejudice against me, because I am a crow.

I know, i know, I know. It's because I am black."

I never knew crows could slur.

Or spit.

I wiped my face.

I stared at Russell.

He smiled.

"It's because I am a dude, right."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Harold.

"Your turn."

Harold stared at Calvin.

"Now for the truth."

He cleared his throat.

"It was a beautiful, sunny, summer, Sunday. I decided to pass on church that morning, as I had been to church several times that week."

"Bullshit," Calvin yelled.

"If you went near a church, you would burst into flame."

Harold ignored him.

"I decided to take a drive down by the lake and watch the ducks swimming in the lake. I often did that to relax."

"The only relaxing you did at the lake was with a six pack and the 'bra' section of the Sears catalogue."

Calvin made a hand gesture, near his crotch.

I started laughing.

"I don't get it," Russell slurred.

"Masturbating?"

Russel shook his head.

"Got nothing here Krall."

I got nearer to Russell and whispered.

"You know. Take you penis in your hand and ...."

I made the same stroking motion Calvin had earlier.

Russell continued to shake his head.