Home Sweet Home

BULLSHIT

SHUT THE FRICKFRACKINGMOTHERFUCKINGFURRYFROLICKINGFATFUZZFACEDFRANKENSTEINFELLOWSHIP UP."

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Everyone stopped and looked at each other.

.

"Now," I said calmly.

"Everyone into the common room."

No one moved.

"NOW."

Now they moved.

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I took a long, deep, very deep, sigh.

I walked to the sink and took out the submerged iPad.

"There goes $500 down the drain."

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Calvin appeared, cleaning his glasses.

"Actually, Krall ..."

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I glared at him.

"If you say one word about how the iPad will not fit down the drain, I will lock you in a closet with the rat."

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He dropped his glasses.

"You wouldn't?"

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I nodded.

I dropped the iPad in the garbage can near the counter.

"And now, you have to share the iPad with Harold."

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Harold appeared.

"Why? I didn't throw mine in the sink."

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Calvin picked up his glasses, smirking.

Didn't know ghosts could do that either.

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"It's either that or I take the iPads away."

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I heard Russell laughing.

"That means yours too, Crow."

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"Shit."

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I heard Betty yell.

"Russell."

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Another long sigh.

I knew he had shit again.

I pointed to the door.

"Common room. Now."

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I followed the two ghosts into the room.

Everyone was there, including the Baron, which surprised me.

Betty was cleaning up Russell's crap.

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I poured a scotch.

"Anyone else?"

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Betty nodded, as did Russell.

I poured Betty a glass and some in an ashtray for Russell.

I was going to use the dirty ashtray, but changed my mind.

..

I drank, refilled, drank again and refilled again.

"Okay," I said, finally.