Home Sweet Home

i'm surrounded by idiots

"You old softie.

You have already decided to let her stay, haven't you?"

.

"Who?" I asked, innocently.

.

Betty kissed me.

"I love you."

.

We walked into the common room.

Russell was perched on the back of an armchair and Bob was standing by him.

I pointed at Russell.

.

"I promise, Krall. No shit."

.

I walked to the bar and poured Betty and I a drink.

"To love."

.

She kissed me.

"To love."

.

We drank our drinks and I refilled them.

I looked at Russell.

"What ... the ... hell ...

is going on ...

with you two."

.

"Yes," Betty chirped in.

"What is with the honey and sweetie and all that crap?

Are you like gay crow and rat?"

.

"Gay?"

Russell looked surprised.

"Why would you think I am gay?"

.

"Well, Bob is a male rat," Betty reminded him.

.

"Yea?"

Russell was still surprised looking.

"And your point is?"

.

"Russell. You are a male crow," I reminded him.

.

"WHAT?"

He turned around and showed us his privates.

"Does that look male?"

.

I looked at Betty.

She looked at me.

We looked at each other.

We looked at Russell.

We looked away from Russell.

.

"WELL?" he / she / it snapped again.

.

"Your name is Russell," I barked at him.

.

"Your name is Krall," he barked back.

.

"That is not the point.

Russell is a man's name."

.

"Says who?" Russell snapped.

.

"Says ...

the entire world."

.