Home Sweet Home

a month lost

"Home, Krall," Russell sputtered, sarcastically, as he flew off with another shirt.

Since he had decided that he would crap on my seat, I decided he would help unload the van. Although, I seriously doubted the sanity of the plan as I entered the house with my arms full.

"Really?"

Russell just stared at me.

"What?"

He looked around at the shirts scattered all over the floor of the foyer.

"You certainly didn't expect me to fly them upstairs and put them away for you, did you? Crows and hangers. Not a good combination."

I took a deep breath.

'Of course not.'

"Of course not, Russell."

I walked away.

"Asshole."

"I heard that."

"You were supposed to. And don't you dare crap on my shirts."

It took about an hour to get everything in the house and then another hour to set up the new TV, computers, iPads' etc.

It may have took a lot less time, if Harold and Calvin had not been there, asking a thousand questions and moving everything I needed.

Finally I threatened to kill them, if they did not stop.

They did.

They really were not the brightest two ...

well anything ...

that I had ever met.

Finally I showed them how to operate the iPads and surprisingly enough, they were quite adapt at doing so.

Finally, they both sat on the couch, iPads plugged into an extension cord and they surfed the net.

"Do you really think that wise, to give those two idiots those electronic contraptions?"

I raised my eyebrows.

"You're mad because you don't have one."

"Me? Not at all. After all I am a crow, proud and free and ...

yes. I'm pissin' mad. Why dumber and dumberest and not me?"

I pulled the iPad from under the bar.

"You will have to use this thing to operate it."

I passed him a little metal rod that would substitute for the fact that he had no fingers.

"And if I see one spot of shit on the screen, I will take it away. Understood?"

Russell nodded happily.

"Hey Krall. You know if they have crow porn sites?"

I shook my head and walked away, just as the front doorbell rang.