Lust Or More

It's Fixed

It was the early morning, for the first time in a long time I woke up alone. I was brushing my hair when Draco walked in with his head down and dropped himself on the bed next to me. I stare down at his face with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Not from his appearance, although that would have been enough to make most feel sorry for him. From the stress, he was losing weight causing his skin to stick unhealthy to his bones. The dark bags under his eyes add to his sickly look. If it wasn't for the tears running down his face, I would think he was a corpse. It wasn't his appearance, but the timing that gave me the sinking feeling. School was soon coming to an end, if he didn't get the cabinet to work he could die. "Draco, desperate time calls for desperate measure, maybe you should let Snape help you." I caress his face, growing more concerned by the low temperature of his body.

"I don't need his help, I got the cabinet working." He opened his bloodshot eyes to give me a dead stare.

"Then why aren't you celebrating, this is great news. You are in the clear." I bounce up and down shaking the whole bed.

"Celebrating, why would I be celebrating? Have you forgotten the part where I have to kill a man?" He shot up, to give me a cold stare that stopped my movements.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. It's selfish, but I would sacrifice someone I don't know that well to have my happiness." I look down at my lap in shame. The sorting hat definitely got me right. I would go to any means to achieve my ends.

"It's fine, a part of me feels the same way." He let out a defeated sigh, before lying down again. I lay down next to him. "It's going to happen tonight." He whispered so softly I wouldn't have heard it if I wasn't an inch away from him.

"What!" I sat up, not believing how fast this was happening. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down. It made no sense why I was panicking. I knew for a while that this was going to happen. I supported him, got him the book to help him fix the cabinet. I begged him to at least let me keep him company while he fixed it. I was happily helping him get ready to kill a man. I was losing my train of thought as I was finding it hard to breathe and my vision was going fuzzy.

Draco grabs my face and turns it to him. "Look at me, concentrate on me and nothing else. Take a deep breath. In, Out, In, Out." He took deep breaths with me. "It's not too late to back out. I didn't tell my parents about us." As my vision became clear again, I could see that he was sincere. If I did back out, he wouldn't hold it against me.

"I want to be with you. It's just for so long I focus on fixing the cabinet and not the actions that would follow. It hit me all at once that the whole time we were working on killing someone." I felt stupid explaining this to him. He was always aware of that fact. He wasn't like me playing a fantasy in his head that once we fix the cabinet we would live happily ever after. I was starting to wonder if I even deserve a happy ending.

"Normally, I would talk this all out with you, but I don't have time. I still have things I need to do. Are you sure you want to be involved with all of this? It's only going to get worse and after this, there will be no turning back." He gave me one last opportunity to keep my hands somewhat clean.

"I love you, Draco Malfoy. I wouldn't be able to keep my sanity if I wasn't with you at this time." I knew that if I did turn him down now, I would later be running to Malfoy Manor for the need would come too great to know that he was safe.

"Alright then, I need you to listen carefully. Tonight after everyone goes to sleep, I'm going to let the death eaters in. We are going to find Dumbledore and I will kill him. We will escape into the dark forest, ending up at my house. You will be waiting for me at the edge of the dark forest." He keeps eye contact with me the whole time to make sure I was getting every step.