Lust Or More

Bright Lights

Draco and I were seated at a round table. We watched Mrs. Malfoy as she went around the room doing silence charms. "Mum, I think that enough." He told her.

"You can never be too safe." She did one more before joining us at the table. "All these damn death eaters would be happy to snitch on us to get closer to the Dark Lord." She sneers, clearly unhappy that her house is being turned into Voldemort's headquarters.

"What would they have to snitch about? I thought you said you found a risk-free way." He narrows his eyes at his mother whose mysterious behavior was making me anxious.

"The act alone is risk-free, but intentions are important. If they knew that the intentions weren't pure then I don't know if he would allow it." She leans in to whisper to us.

"Mum, you're speaking in riddles. What do we have to do to keep Nicole safe?" He let out a sigh, tired of having to wait. I was feeling the same way as I was bouncing my legs to keep myself from exploding.

"You have to get married and get pregnant." She said so quickly that if I wasn't waiting in anticipation I wouldn't have caught it.

"What?" Draco and I yell in shock.

"Purebloods who support the Dark Lord are becoming rare. Families continuing to grow have become important to him. Most families have a few children, but we only have you. If something happens to you then the Malfoy bloodline is gone. He will support Nicole sitting out of the war if she is pregnant." She broke it down for us.

"Why do we have to get married?" Draco rubs his temples. I glare at him. He was more worried about marriage than a baby. We could get a divorce. A child was a lifetime commitment.

"Like I said intent matters. Marriage will make it look like we are trying to genuinely continue our bloodline. If people thought we were trying to deceive the Dark Lord in any way it could be a death sentence." She explains the thought process behind her plan.

"We are talking about a baby, not some chess move." I snap, tired of talking about making a person as if it was all business.

"You two should talk about this. If you decide yes, wear this ring and I'll start planning the engagement party." She took a ring box out of her pocket and slid it over to Draco.

"Grandma's ring?" He opens the box and looks at her in shock.

"This marriage may feel like a chess move, but I believe it's meant to be." She smiles at both of us, before leaving the room.

There was a moment of silence. He put the ring box in his pocket. "What are your thoughts?" He turns towards me.

"Marriage is one thing that can be undone. But, a baby can't. Can you imagine them growing up and finding out they were only born so their mother could avoid a war?" I imagine a teenager wondering if their parents love them and seeing themselves as a casualty of war. I tilt my head back as I close my eyes tightly, not knowing if I could put that burden on my child.

"They don't have to find that out. If they do, they can know that even before they were born they were a hero. They save their mother's life." He took my face in his hands, pull me from my dark thoughts. I stare into his light blue eyes, as I ponder on his words. His statement was truer than mine. My child would be my hero, not a casualty of war. They would be my reason to keep going.

"I want to tell them that. I don't want them to do the math later on in life and feel like that can't be true, because if it was it wouldn't be a secret. No matter what the circumstances are, I want my children to know that they are loved." I want to keep the promise I made to myself that my child would never have to go through what I went through. They would never torture themselves wondering what was wrong with them because they felt like their parents didn't love them.