Habits of My Heart

Chapter 30

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August

"I think I'm ready for a baby." Rose mumbled while watching me get dressed.

"Well go have one then, ain't nothing stopping you."

"There is actually."

"You got a husband and I know he got money cause his ass be promoting shit all over, so what's the issue?" I don't understand what point she trying to make here.

"I want a baby with you August."

I damn near broke my neck looking back at her to make sure I heard her ass correctly.

"The fuck you just say?"

"I said I want to have your bab.."

"You must of lost your rabid ass mind, maybe I fucked you too hard and knocked a couple screws loose cause you sounding real dumb right now, but that will never happen." I said cutting her off.

This bitch bugging the fuck out. She know I already got a baby on the way with Xe even though she hasn't confirm it with me yet, I know she carrying my seed.

"Why can't we? Didn't you feel the love and spark between us when we was having sex? It was just like old times." She said with a hopeful look on her face that I'm about to wipe clean the fuck off.

"Man hell no! I ain't feel shit. I only got my nut cause I was thinking of my baby. This was just a one time thing and it proves ain't shit left between us, no feelings or nothing."

I admit fucking her was one of the top stupidest thing I ever done but I had to make sure there was nothing left between us. Once upon a time this girl was the love of my life and I'd hate to live my life with regret if I let this pass me without at least seeing if there was still anything there between us.

She is the mother of my first born and being around her brought back those old feelings especially when we're reminiscing and thinking of who our child would look like and who's personality he or she would have.

I lost her once and I looked at her being here as my second chance to either get shit right with her or leave what we had in the pass and give Xena all of me without any what ifs hanging over my head.

I got caught up in the moment but us having sex confirms that there's nothing left between us on my side. It seems like she got shit fucked up on her side though.

To be honest I didn't feel shit while fucking her, all I could think about was being inside Xe. Thats the only way I got my nut, Rose shit wasn't the same and her moans where annoying me.

Rose sex don't even compare to my baby, when I'm deep in Xe she feels like home. I feel like a belong in there.

"It's the least you can do for me, I want a baby with you. You don't even have do anything I'll take care of it on my own. I know I've lost you already. I can tell by the way you talk about her with so much admiration and love. The only piece of you I had was taken away from me. I just want that one thing to still have a part of you." She sounds crazy as fuck.

"You talking as if a baby is just a piece of jewelry or something. That's a whole human being and I ain't no fucking dead beat so that whole I don't have to be there bullshit is a dub. I already have a child on the way and that's all I need."