"i lit a fire with the love you left behind
and it burned wild
and crept up the mountain side"
-stars by grace potter & the nocturnals
••••
your pov
i never knew why he left.
i never knew what i did.
i never knew where he went.
but he's gone.
and i can't find him.
the water falls down my body as i reminisce on the times colby and i shared together. the warm water from the shower runs down my back.
the time we went on the ferris wheel and saw the night lights.
the time he pranked me to make me believe he was cheating on me with katrina.
the time he picked me up from my apartment and brought me to the beach.
the time he asked me to move in.
the time he told me he loved me.
and it was all gone in the blink of an eye.
it was just that one night at 4 am. i was asleep, but he wasn't. he was leaving, finding somewhere to go in this big world. anywhere but here.
no one has heard from him. i've asked all the roommates. i've asked his family. i've asked all of his friends.
nothing.
not even a peep from him.
he hasn't posted anything on social media.
he's basically off the grid.
i get out of the shower and dry myself off. the towel feels soft on my wet skin.
i put on my sweatpants and an old t-shirt, one that colby liked.
i still live in the house, but i've moved out of his room. i cant stay in there without him.
everyday i feel guilt hanging over my head.
every night i go to sleep remembering when his arms would be around me.
until they weren't.
if i would've just woken up, we could have just talked it through. i could have convinced him he doesn't need to leave.
but i didn't wake up.
i didn't feel him unwrapping his arms from me. i didn't hear him open the door. i didn't notice until the morning he was gone.
i lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.
everything reminds me of him.
his room.
his clothes that he didn't take with him.
the pictures of us.
the videos of us.
his friends.
the city.
the house.
the ocean.
the stars.
his eyes were a galaxy filled with stars.
i looked at him and could see the rest of my life. i could see how he was feeling and what was happening in his head.
i don't know why, but i'm crying.
he was the biggest part of my life.
and he remains to be the biggest part of my life.
