The Betrayal

Chapter Thirty-Two

"A strong force inside of me urges me towards the madness, but the goodness of my heart traps me here. The force compares to a shadow lurking viciously behind my light, just waiting for me to stumble, waiting for me to dim. That's when it attacks; that's when it floods my vision so I'm seeing stars and darkness. My world blurs, but then a certain something shines through and helps me see again. I need it to stop. I need to find a way to end this infinite insanity in my mind." – Selene

"The first night I met it... I was afraid. It was so novel, so profound. I didn't expect the force to be so controlling. How could the goddess before me hold such a strong energy inside of her for so long without it tearing her apart. With one single touch, it destroyed me bit by bit, and, yet, somehow, I didn't fight its shuddering beauty; I accepted it wholeheartedly. But, then he emerged from the abyss of risks as my calamitous savior." - Aega

"He was a drug and I was an addict, getting high off of him every single chance I got. I breathed in his enticing smoke, letting it fill my lungs only to slowly bitter them. And, when I was at my end, when my lungs were slowly crumbling into ash, I took another hit of him because he was all I knew anymore." – Luna

My fingers trembled as I took the pen in my hands. It was now my turn to write a paragraph of prose on this worn page in the journal, my journal. But, what would I say? How would I say it? How could I explain the struggle of the force? How would I admit my truths even when they were the worst parts of me?

Should I warn the generations of Moon Goddesses to come of my failure or of my weaknesses or of the evil force that laid within us all at one point. It has become too much. There has been too much pain and suffering for one person.

If I were to read this when I rose to power, I would not understand the words of Selene, but now I do. I understand the madness; I understand the force; I understand the world she saw every time her lids fluttered closed.

If I were to read this when I met it, I would not understand the words of Aega, but now I do. I understand its shuttering and enticing beauty; I understand how easily it crawled under her skin and inched its way into her mind, tainting it; I understand how she could accept it wholeheartedly.

If I were to read this when I met him, I would not understand the words of Luna, my mother, but now I do. I understand how effortlessly a man could make me feel; I understand how enticing a mate could be; I understand how my world could crumble to ash and I still want more of him.

Taking a deep breath, I steadied my hand and stared down at the page. My pen pressed into the paper and I knew, deep in my heart, that I needed to pour my soul into this, just as the previous goddesses have done. Once I finished my words would be sealed, my soul would be attached, I would become transparent to the future.

"They say that pain is weakness leaving the body, but I still feel it... long after the pain is gone... I still feel the weakness inside of me. It's crawling around, gnawing at my insides. I knew I shouldn't have gave it my all; I shouldn't have given him all the pieces of me, but we fit so perfectly. So damn perfectly. I should have understood the damages of the force, the connection, the pull, but I ignored the signs. And, now, here I am; so broken and lonely." -Mae

Tears welled up in my eyes as my pen lifted mere spaces off of the sheet.

It was all true.

Every single word I wrote. I wished it to be wrong, since the moment I had the vision. I wished that I listened to his quiet warnings. Now, I was broken and alone.

A single tear slid down my cheek, leaving a searing pain on my flesh.

Why was it true?