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Leilani Morales woke up just before the crack of dawn as she usually did nowadays with sweat on her brow and tears in her eyes

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Leilani Morales woke up just before the crack of dawn as she usually did nowadays with sweat on her brow and tears in her eyes. Sleep didn't come easily. Sleep meant nightmares and nightmares meant reliving the same moment over and over again with ominous flashes of crimson and dramatic baby cries that her mind conjured. It'd been nearly a month since the loss, yet the same vision kept repeating itself and caused her to depart from slumber much earlier than any normal human being should. Therapy helped, but talking to Greta twice a week could only do so much. Her support system relied heavily on her closest friends and her boyfriend who usually surged awake upon hearing her erratic breathing and wrapped his arms around her, whispering soothing sentiments in her ear until he fell back asleep. This time, his eyes remained closed and his chest rose and fell evenly. She was grateful for the lack of pity.

The start of today was no different from any other day. Leilani carefully climbed out of bed, brushed her teeth, and changed into a loose tank top and running-shorts. She trekked down to her home gym and began her usual workout that would both distract her and transform her into a sweaty mess. After the unexpected visit to the hospital, she had some extra fat that she wanted to get rid of, and exercising provided an excellent amount of discomfort that took her mind off of problems. She started out with the stair stepper before moving onto the treadmill and finishing with a grueling ab workout. Afterward, she stretched efficiently and climbed the stairs to take a cold shower. It was barely after eight when she brushed a trace of mascara on her lashes at the end of her morning routine and stepped out into the bedroom to find Calum still sleeping soundly. Normally he didn't wake up until after ten at least, so she would often pass the time by cleaning or watching TV. Today, however, she felt inspired.

Calum's birthday party had been less extravagant than his band mates', primarily because he insisted the only present he wanted was Leilani and the baby. So it was basically a very small get together with a chocolate cake and a few streamers hung strategically around Leilani's den. He consistently said he didn't mind the simplicity but it always bothered her that the person she cared about most got less of a party than her other friends. They didn't even do anything for Valentines Day, for God's sake, although Calum truly did despise that holiday. He got her two dozen roses and chocolate because he loved her but he complained about how stupid V-Day was while he gave her the gifts.

Leilani wanted to make the lack of dedication in their relationship up by doing something nice for him. She grabbed her keys and headed to the store, picking out the necessary ingredients for cupcakes. No one seemed to recognize her as she grabbed a container of icing and a boxed confetti cake mix, not even the teenage employee who checked her out. Maybe it was the sunglasses. Maybe it was just the preset idea that celebrities usually didn't shop for themselves. Either way, Leilani made it back to her house without any paparazzi or fan encounters which was good because she'd forgotten how to interact with people outside of her inner circle.

She thought of her friends undying support over the past couple of months as she prepared the cupcake batter. Mali was always there when Leilani needed her (even times when she didn't) and took time off from working in London to make sure she could come over if needed. Eliza hadn't been involved much in the pregnancy aspect, but she continued to call her once every few days to talk. It was the same with Ashton and Michael who constantly texted her funny jokes or FaceTimed her in the evenings. Then there was Luke who had been the friend that she didn't deserve when the whole fallout with Calum happened. He took her to doctors appointments, comforted her during sleepless nights, and practically dropped his entire life for her. Leilani could never begin to repay him for what he did, and she felt even worse when she saw the despair on his features after he heard the news of the miscarriage. Not only did she let Calum down, she let down all of her friends who looked forward to the baby. It was a god awful feeling that therapy couldn't solve. She had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't her fault, that she couldn't have known.

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