e p i l o g u e

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ROAST CALUM CHAT
[5 Participants]

Smashton
can i just say im really happy we're all back in this chat
it was so lonely with just me and mike

Skywalker
im just happy it's not the roast luke chat

CalPal💗
yeah bet it must be nice mate

Big Red Dog
dont worry i know what you're going through cal
piece of shit

CalPal💗
fuck you

Smashton
where's lan

CalPal💗
she's busy

Big Red Dog
ew u better not be getting off while you're texting us mate

CalPal💗
don't worry lan's too good for me to ever be able to multitask

Skywalker
i can't wait til she sees this and kills you
that'll be fun for us

Smashton
lol true
what's she doing anyway?

CalPal💗
she's in a meeting with her financial advisors
she's deciding between a few charities to donate to
they're for free psychological help for women who have miscarriages and for single mums
im dating an angel

Smashton
im fucking crying

Big Red Dog
same
i fucking hate how nice she is

Skywalker
that's honestly so great

CalPal💗
yeah doing nice stuff for others really makes her feel better so im not complaining
if she's happy im happy

Big Red Dog
softie

Skywalker
hey there's nothing wrong w that

Big Red Dog
you're just saying that cuz your girl makes u soft too

Skywalker
she's not my girl
and she most definitely does not make me soft

Smashton
ew i need a girlfriend

CalPal💗
tinder mate

Smashton

CalPal💗

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CalPal💗

i was just trying to help

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i was just trying to help

Smashton
ill never go to tinder

Big Red Dog
cal did u just use a meme of yourself

CalPal💗
yeah sue me

Lele
u guys are all shitheads
cal i hate u
but i fucking love u too

CalPal💗
aww
i fucking love you

Smashton
hi lan
how was the meeting

Lele
it was good thanks 😊
in the end i picked 3 charities
it was very nice and rewarding
it's like closing a chapter of my life

Skywalker
now you're starting a new one
with us of course

Big Red Dog
i for one am excited

CalPal💗
i second that

Smashton
i third it

Skywalker
same?

Lele
😂
i love u guys
thank u for everything

Skywalker
hey you're our friend
we'd do anything for you

CalPal💗
geez luke your girlfriend has made u soft

Skywalker
SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND

LELE CHANGED THE NAME TO ROAST LUKE CHAT!

better man // calum hoodWhere stories live. Discover now