jealous (jastin)

Chapter 11: who do you belong to?

I wake up instantly, heart racing, sweat poring. What? I look to my left and see an empty bed. Where's Justin? How late is it? Why am I sweaty? Did I have a nightmare or something?

I look to my right and grab my phone. It's 2 in the morning, where's Justin? I stand up and slowly open the bathroom, not there. I make my way downstairs and see the kitchen light on. "Justin?" I speak quietly and walk in but he's also not here. Where the fuck is he!

Did he ran away? I swear if he did I'm going to put a tracer in him! I see the backdoor open and slowly walk to it.

Once I'm at the door I hear, singing? A confused expression takes over my face and I look in the garden for some explanation. I see Justin walking, singing softly, his voice is amazing! But He looks kinda lost, I think.

I slowly make my way in the garden, careful to not disturb him. I come closer but still make no sound. He looks utterly exhausted, his feet slump over the grass while his whole body is tense. His hair is messy and his voice is a little down, I can't hear the lyrics of whatever he sings.

"Justin?" I say quiet and he instantly jumps and looks at me with a shocked expression. "Jason....." he answers in disbelieve and our eyes meet. He looks sad, really sad. "What are you doing here?" I ask curious and take a step towards him. He just stands there still shocked.

"Ooh, I.... I just..... I couldn't sleep" he says stumbling over his own words. I nod my head but don't let the eye contact go. "What were you doing?" I ask and for the first time since I talked to him he moves a bit. "Just thinking, why are you up?" He asks me, trying to change the subject I think.

"I woke up and you were gone" I answer and Justin breaks eye contact and looks up at the sky. "You're sweaty" he says quiet and I nod my head. "Yeah, bad dream I think" I answer immediately while Justin still looks up. There's definitely something wrong.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask concern clearly heard and take a step towards him. He looks at me again and his eyes look lost, like he is in a battle with himself and doesn't know what to do.

"No" He reply's to quick with no emotion. "Just stay away from me, please" he adds and takes a step back and I furrow my eyebrows. What does he mean with that! I'm not staying away! You're the love of my life and I want you to be mine and trust me completely.

I'm not letting him slip out off my fingers! No, I made that mistake once and I'm not repeating it.

"No, I'm not going. There's something wrong and I want you to trust me" I answer with a demanding voice and I little hope in it. He looks deep in my eyes but I don't see anything, I don't know if he's mad or sad or shocked. He just looks at me emotionless.

"I.... You" he says quiet and points at me "I can't and I won't ever tell anyone about everything and with you....." he says dangerous calm. Ooh no, not the strong-impulsive-bipolar-angry Justin. I don't want that now!

"Justin remember you're anchor" I say and take a step towards him. He immediately softens and shakes his head. "That's the problem, I don't understand why it makes me calm I just don't and our talk yesterday I should had never.." he says and shakes his head again. Trying to see some sense of find the words to say.

"Don't come near me, I mean it Jason. Stay. Away" he says but I ignore what he just told me. "Come inside, it's cold here and you're practically shaking" I conclude and hold my hand out for him.

He looks at it and I think he's going to take it but he just walks past me inside. What is going on?

I walk quickly after him and we stop in the living room. Well he stops I just follow. "Justin what's going on" I say more demanding, he ignores me and sits down with his head in his hands.