Jungkook: The Friendly Ghost

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Jeon Jungkook is one talkative bastard, that's for sure. Opinionated too, whether or not you asked for it. I think it comes from the fact that the guy is simply observant and unlike most, he tends to pay attention to details. Once those details are observed and opinions are formed, he has no problem with saying them out loud.

And even if it's not that deep, even if it's just chit-chat, Kook is not a quiet guy. I suppose it's some form of compensation for the fact he had no one to talk to for quite some time. Jeon Jungkook pretty much doesn't shut up and that's what I'm used to.

However, on the off chance that he is quiet, like he is now, I enjoy it. I actually enjoy the silence with him. Usually I get all fidgety and awkward, wanting to break it, distract myself and the person I'm talking or more specifically, not talking to. With Jungkook? I can just... stay silent.

It usually happens late at night, when I'm already one foot into dreamland. We stay silent, laying on my bed and sometimes, more often than not, holding hands. Even though he can't sleep, he stays like that with me and I usually find him in the exact same position when I wake up. We stay silent then as well, but only because he knows speaking to me before I've had my coffee is like asking for death.

But this is different. We're having a full on road trip, with some random 90s grunge music serving as a soundtrack as we cruise around in Hoseok's car that I have borrowed for the day.

The plan was for us to have fun, not for him to go totally quiet and pensive on me.

"Aren't you going to ask where we're going?" I chuckle.

"No."

"Why not? Aren't you curious?"

"I know you well enough to know it's probably a stupid idea," wow, he's really not in the mood. "Based on our earlier conversations and your "mission" face, I'm guessing this is part one phase one of the search for my happiness. So nope, I'm not going to ask."

Okay I'm not going to say that he's wrong because... well, he's not. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. The problem is in the way he formed it – he made it seem like I'm doing something bad.

And I'm really not. I'm just... trying to help before I can actually help. I will meet up with Taehyung and Jin tomorrow and hopefully will have a bit more information on what actually should make Jungkook happy but until then, I'm blind and in a dark room. But I'll keep on trying.

"Is it so bad that I want to see you happy?" I ask and despite wanting to keep appearance, even I could recognize that my own voice sounds deflated. Jungkook recognized it too – I could see it in the flash of guilt that crossed his face.

"JJ, you're taking this way too seriously," he shakes his head but at least he sounds a lot nicer than before. "It's not going to work."

"Oh, fuck off," I mumble before even realizing the exact words that left my mouth. This time around, the silence is a bit more uncomfortable than it was before and just like last time, I know I have to be the one who breaks it. "Look, it's not some master plan. You're my friend, alright? Ghost or no ghost, you're my friend and I want to see you happy. And if I can make that happen if only for a little while, I'm absolutely doing it. If you have a problem with it... don't!"

It works. Jungkook stays silent but I'm not sure if it helps. Not when I know he has so much to say.

I just... I don't even know what I'm trying to do. Do I want to help him? Yes, I do. Is his negativity rubbing off on me? Yes, it absolutely is. I guess I just want to make sure that he has at least that one day, that one moment of happiness. It doesn't have to be real, it doesn't have to heal him, fix all the world problems and bring him back to life.