Jungkook: The Friendly Ghost

41. Crystal Snow

I could feel the coffee burning my fingers through the plastic cup that held it in place, but still, I cannot drop it or simply put it down.

Frankly, I can't even move. Not my fingers, not myself.

For one hour and 24 minutes, I have been standing in the hallway, leaned on the wall, staring at the floor before me. About 10 minutes earlier, Taehyung put the cup of coffee in my hands, mumbling something about me needing it, before he left me alone again.

I can't blame him. My body language is screaming at people to leave me alone.

Out of all the things I would have imagined, all the things I have seen coming my way, this was not even a possibility. It was too crazy and insane to be even considered a possibility!

What kind of cheap shit romance novel is this?!

No, seriously, what the fuck is this? I fall in love with a ghost? Who then I think dies? But instead of dying he miraculously wakes up from a coma but out of all the people in his miserable stupid life, I'm the only one he can't remember?! What the fuck?!

But from another point of view, it makes perfect sense. Because his parents, his brother, Taehyung and Jin were all there in his actual, real life. I was only a part of his ghost one. If he can remember them but can't remember me, I know damn well why that's the case.

The problem is, I can't actually say that to the doctors, can I? So I keep my mouth shut and stare at the hallway floor as I wait for them to bring him back from another series of tests and scans he had to go through.

God, how weird must this be for them? Some random chick no one ever knew about until a few weeks ago, charges in, crying, doesn't believe the fact that Jungkook is awake, only to find out he has a case of stupid selective amnesia or something. And now I look like someone took the last piece of my birthday cake from me – and none of them have any idea why!

Now what do I do?

Seriously, what the fuck do I do?

Of course, it's better than what I thought I'd have. He's alive and at the end of the day, that is the most important thing. That's what matters the most. I'd rather not have him but know he's somewhere alive and well, much rather than losing him for good.

I don't think my luck will be strong enough to let me pull a Channing Tatum from the Vow with him, because it's a fucking miracle on its own that he managed to fall in love with me the first time – that isn't going to happen again, I am absolutely positive.

"Hey."

I nearly jump out of my skin when Jin startles me, followed by Jungkook's mom who gives me a small smile. I can't even look at her, not when they have exactly the same eyes, not when the last time I looked at Jungkook, he had absolutely no idea who I am.

"Hey," I mumble back, making eye contact with the floor tiles.

"How are you holding up?" he asks me.

"I mean... I'm happy for you guys. I'm happy he's awake. The rest is... irrelevant," I sigh.

"You don't look as if you consider it irrelevant," he tells me. If the situation was any different, I would have smacked him. But now, I can only stay silent. "Don't be torn about this JJ. Weirder things have happened. We didn't think he'd wake up and look at us now."

"I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen, Jin."

"Honey, you never know," Jungkook's mom speaks up. Now here, I cannot fight. I can tell Jin to shut it and to leave me alone – Jin's close to my age and he didn't give birth to the man I love. I can't say shit to Jungkook's mom and they both know it – that's exactly why she's talking. "If nothing else, at least you will have a chance to build it up again, get to know him again, step by step."