Chapter 45

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You paced up and down your hallway with nerves, thank god Nova basically didn't live here anymore. You couldn't be a mom, not yet anyway, you were 21 and had your entire life to live!

Tapping the test in your hand, you tried to pluck up the courage to walk back into the bathroom and know exactly how much trouble you were in. How would you tell your parents? You'd have to drop out of University.

No. You couldn't do it. Not today.

You stride into your bedroom, test box in hand and placed it into your shelf above your desk. You would do it tomorrow, your heart was already beating extremely fast, not knowing was better than going to sleep thinking of the worst.

After a painful night of next to no sleep, you opened one eye slowly and let the morning sun rays hit your face. Today was a new day.

Pulling yourself out of bed, you let out a large yawn, you were anything but rested. You felt a strange pang of pain go through your leg, the cold weather must have been getting to it. You reached over to your desk draw and pulled it open, revealing the yellow bottle of painkillers your doctor had given you a few months prior.

You poured a couple into your palm and threw them into your mouth, taking a sip from your water bottle, tilting your head back, and swallowing the horrible tasting pills.

After getting washed and dressed, you waddled into the kitchen and prepared yourself a coffee to take into lecture, you were going to need it after all the sleep you didn't get. You had a little bit of time spare before you had to leave so you thought about making yourself some breakfast but the idea made your stomach turn.

You thought it better not to.

Walking back into your bedroom, you began gathering up your things for class: your notepad, your textbook, and even your laptop. Normally you didn't take it but you thought you could at least work on your dissertation if you managed to get your work done quickly, like you normally did.

You glanced up at the box on your shelf, remembering your promise to yourself the night before, stating that you would take it now. However, the thumping in your chest told you that you just couldn't.

Slinging your backpack over your shoulder, you took the box into your free hand and started reading the back. 'To get the most accurate result, take the test first thing in the morning when your urine is most concentrated' you read. "Huh, can't take it now anyway" you said aloud to yourself.

You placed the small box back onto your shelf and left your room, trying not to let it linger in your mind.

The walk to campus was a long one, the air was particularly chilly and had a nasty bite to it, you could see your breath in front of you. Under every footstep you could feel the crunch of frost. Luckily you had decided to wear a jacket today.

Entering the tiny lecture hall, you took your usual place by the window and put your backpack on the chair next to the one you would be sitting on. It still stung that within a couple of months you had lost your best friend, most of the time you had wondered whether dating Mark was worth it. But you knew losing Nova was about more than just dating Mark.

There were a few people scattered around the class, the typical pretty girls were sat at the back of the class, gossiping about the events that had happened over the holidays. The hipsters were gushing over a pair of retro trousers one of them had bought. Sometimes it felt like you were back in high-school, and sometimes it felt like you still didn't belong.

"Good morning class" you heard him say, looking up from your knees - the thing you were previously starring at - you glanced towards the man the voice belonged to. You'd never tire of seeing him, feeling a small smile creep onto your face.

"I hope you're all well" Mark said, placing his coffee down on his desk and swinging his bag under it. 'Yeah, I hope so too' you thought to yourself and sadly dropped your head a little. Taking a deep inhale of breath and looking back up at Mark; he was already staring at you, a concerned look on his face.

'He could be a father' you thought as soon as you made eye contact with him. You'd realised that you'd been starring at him for too long when he tilted his head at you in confusion, you quickly shook your head and gave him a smile. You didn't want him to worry or suspect anything. 

Massive thank you to Kari Karbley and OddMini for supporting me on Patreon, you guys rock and help me to spend more time writing than at work!

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