Caged

Chapter 28

**| Sang's POV |**

They brought me to a small clearing when Kota sat down in the soft grass, he patted it, telling me to join him. I eyed the shifter, not sure what to expect from him. The Alpha and Beta were the two shifters I tried to avoid the most when I could and outside of the one time I spent in the library with him, I hadn't done much else in his presence.

"How do we do this?" I asked. "How do I link with you guys?"

"We need to meet your wolf," Kota said.

I reached for my shirt to raise it and Kota held his hand out, stopping me as Silas chuckled behind me. "Not physically," he said, a red blush going up his neck and to his cheeks, and when I frowned in response, he tapped his head. "Mentally. Inside of you. We need to go into her world, her territory, and meet her there."

"That doesn't make sense."

He smiled and patted the ground again. "Sit, Sang, and I'll show you what I mean. Being Beta gives me some gifts. Just like how an Alpha can force a shift, I can connect with other wolves, just differently."

"Can you force shifts?" I asked.

"Sometimes. It depends on my emotional state and the one I'm trying force to shift. It's hard and takes a lot of energy. If they fight me, I won't be able to do it."

"Me? Can you force me to shift?" I fought the urge to growl. There was one Alpha shifter I had to fight occasionally in The Gallows. He had the ability to force other wolves to shift and he loved trying to get me to do it. He forced me once. The day I ripped out his throat was one of my favorite days.

"No, I can't. Alpha Blackbourne could barely get you to shift and he's one of the strongest on the East Coast." he said and I didn't feel a lie in his words. "Please, sit."

I sat and Silas followed, his bent knee only inches away from mine. He flashed me a smile, but was content to let Kota run the show. Didn't matter to me. I drew comfort in having Silas so close and knowing I wasn't alone in this.

"I need you to find your middle, to fight through everything bogging you down and find the pure center inside of you," Kota said.

I snorted. "Pure?" The word came out bitter. How could I be pure still after all the deaths I had a part in?

"Sang, trust me." Kota's green eyes refused to look away from mine. There wasn't a challenge in them though. My wolf didn't even bristle with the eye contact.

I closed my eyes and released a slow breath, meditating. I had to do that often while in The Gallows. It helped keep me calm in a world where chaos reigned. Kota knew what he was talking about, because the hardest part is pushing through everything weighing me down. I had a lot to work through and while we just sat there with only the rustling of the wind to keep us company, they didn't interrupt me. They gave me the time I needed to fight through the memories of my stepmother, my father, The Gallows. All the fights and deaths. All the close calls and the choking desperation for freedom.

My eyes burned, tears wanting to fall, but I couldn't let them. I needed to move through the helplessness, the broken part of me demanding retribution. I had to get past myself. And that was the hardest to do. I was my own enemy. All that animosity and pain. All the what ifs and the whys. The pressing need of Little Sang to understand why she was dealt the life she was given. I wanted to mourn for her because she wasn't me. Not anymore. I was harder, meaner, colder. I wanted to tear into others, feeling the rush of blood in my mouth. I forced myself to push past that addiction too, because that was exactly what it was. An addiction.

I didn't move from my spot and yet my breathing grew heavier as I fought through what felt like sludge. Everything fought against me, trying to push me out, and I could only grit my teeth and fight back. All the memories and experience didn't want me getting to my inner self, that small part of me that had managed to survive against the world that battered against me every day.