PRESENT DAY
+ raelynn's pov
an hour later
"Um, Grayson, I think I should leave now. I've overstayed your welcome and my apartment is probably a big mess right now," I laughed awkwardly. I decided against explaining everything to Grayson as he had just poured out everything and I didn't want to overwhelm him.
"You'll never overstay you welcome, Rae. You can just stay tonight and I'll drop you tom-"
"No, I should get going before it gets darker." As much as I wanted to stay, I felt awkward, almost, staying with him. I didn't want him regretting telling me everything, but I didn't feel comfortable staying.
I stood up, walking to the door as Grayson followed.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Grayson said, a few sniffles coming out also.
"Yeah. Are you alright here by yourself?" I didn't want to leave him if he was still upset about everything.
"I'll be fine." He lowered down to kiss me before I walked towards my car.
"Thank you, Raelynn."
I turned my head towards him, "for what?"
"For listening. It means a lot."
"I'll always be here Grayson. I promise." I kissed him once more before getting inside my car driving away.
+
Instead of driving to my apartment, I drove towards a small 24 hour cafe. Having heard the story, I still hadn't let things sink in yet.
Whether I was overreacting or not, it felt as if I was disrespecting my father. I was pretty much dating the brother of the guy who had killed him.
A waitress walked up to me but I kindly rejected her, only here to sit down and think.
Every emotion from that night came back. The fear, pain and grief. I could remember every detail.
Since then, I've felt a hole in my heart. A hole only my dad can fill.
I had nightmares for weeks after he died. The same vision of him lying on the ground completely lifeless. I blamed myself for it all. I blamed myself for getting sick that night, for not calling him when he didn't come home. The guilt that followed broke my heart entirely.
I sat in the booth, looking out of the window. The sky looked almost identical as it did the night he died. No stars were glistening, no clouds were seen. Nothing.
A single tear fell from my eye thinking about it all. I felt guilty for everything. I didn't comfort my mom after it all happened. She had lost her husband, but the only thing I was worried about was myself, selfishly. I also felt guilty for leaving Grayson. He told me everything. He almost lost his brother, but again, I just left because I was too worried about myself.
The hustle of the busy streets slowly lessened as the night grew. Hours had passed and I looked at myself in the reflection of the window. I could see the puffiness of my eyes and the redness of my cheeks. I hated how much the death had made an impact on me. It feels as if the longer he is gone, the more it hurts. Even after years, the pain hadn't gone, if anything it got worse.
