love. sex. dreams.

• fourteen •

I look for ways to say I love you, but I ain't into making love songs.
• • •
I woke up the next day, Rakim was still sleeping and I had to be at work in two hours so I didn't move just yet. I was looking at him, sleeping peacefully, that cute mouth slightly open. Every time I saw him, I thought to myself, what was there to think about? This man came into my life and swept me off my feet, rescued me even though I didn't want or needed to be rescued. He had eyes for me only and I looked through it, ignored it because we were friends with benefits. Not anymore, though.

"You know, it kinda makes you a sociopath if you like watchin' someone sleep." He mumbled and took me by surprise.

"Maybe I'm a serial killer, they're hard to spot, remember?" I joked. He pulled me closer and put his arm over me.

"Yeah yeah, more squeezing baby, I ain't lettin' you out yet." He said, pressing a big kiss on my cheek.

"I wasn't planning on leaving anyways." I cuddled up to him and noticed something was different; and I don't mean his hard-on, I mean this thing inside me. I didn't feel broken or sad anymore, I didn't regret anything. I remember aunt Georgia's words; I did meet someone who gives me what I need. God knows I deserve it.
And I had nothing but love to give to Rakim.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I asked him.

"Well, I was gonna take you to lunch but I have some business to attend to, soooo..." He kissed the back of my neck. "I'm taking you to dinner instead, wherever you wanna go."

"I know the perfect place."

🦋

"No! That one is mine, you ate three already." He was laughing, trying to seize the last spring roll; I was putting up a little fight, kidding of course. I let him have it. I'd let him have anything. He told me to pick whichever restaurant I wanted, but I said we could go up to our spot. Yes, it was officially our spot, where everything started. It took a special place in my heart.

"Oh yeah, this is the shit, I'll never get tired of it." He said, finishing up.

"I know, this is the perfect comfort food."

"What you need comfort for?" He made a funny face and I stuck my tongue out.

"Being sore all the time because you keep mounting me." I chuckled. He put his arm around me and started tickling me.

"Aight, no sex for a week, see how you feel." He smiled.

"You know I can't do that baby." I gave him my best seductive look and he kissed my cheek again.

"Dang, what am I gonna do with you." He started shaking his head.

"I could think of a few things." I pouted. "Like... open the fortune cookie."

He chuckled. "Okay..." He cracked it open and read. "Live and let live; oh, come on."

"It's true."

"Yeah, it's a good one but I was expecting some inspo romantic quote shit or somethin'. What does yours say?"

I read mine, while chewing on my cookie. "You will find a soulmate."

"True." He stuck his tongue out, pointing at himself.

"I'll have to agree with you on this one, yes." I winked at him. He leaned his head on my shoulder.

"Me and my momma, we be talkin' and stuff, you know, when I was little and she'd be like Rakim baby, I hope you find a soulmate one day, like I found your daddy and I would be like, yeah." He started caressing my thigh, drawing shapes with his finger on my leggings. "But I never really believed it. I always thought god brought my parents together and I had high hopes, I admit."

"That's very sweet."

"Yeah, after my first break up, it got pretty tough. Hopes of finding something real went out the window and I was fine with fuckin' hoes for a while. But now I see it, I can tell the difference." He said and lifted his head up, looking at me.

"Oh yeah. What's that?" I asked, grinning.

"I would bring girls home, they'd pass out after sex and I couldn't sleep; got up, had a drink and walked around my apartment. I'd look at them while they were sleeping and I felt nothing, just emptiness. It was sad, really."

"I can imagine."

"Then you slept in my bed and I look at you and I see someone that gives me hope. I couldn't bare to see you suffer, let alone me be the one hurting you. I see someone that's mine, but I don't own you. You know what I mean?"

"I do. I thought Carter and I were gonna last forever, get married and all that. I thought that it can't get better so I settled. But I'm glad I took this way, not the other. I mean it hurt at first but now I got all I need."

"Beautifully said. So I'm good to you?"

"You're the best baby." I winked.

"Damn girl. Wait till I tell Tyler what happened, he's already thrilled about us hangin'."

"Me and you?" I asked and he nodded.

"I haven't had a girlfriend in forever, I might be bad at it." He said.

"Impossible." I said and kissed him. "You're the most caring person I know and you did a lot of things for me; plus we weren't even dating."

"Yeah? I'll keep doin' my best bae."

"Did you just call me bae?"

"Yeah, now I finally got one, I can say it; no shame." He chuckled and hugged me, diving his face into my shirt, trying to motorboat me.
I started laughing.

"I'm sorry, my boobs are not big enough for shit like that." I said.

"What you talkin' bout; they're perf, plus they're mine so quit crying." He looked up at me and winked again, with the widest smile on his face. So this is what heaven looks like.