I Fall Apart

Lin

           

When it was time for bed, Nora was still asleep in our bed.  I didn't want to disturb her, so I let Vanessa climb in and I slept in Nora's bed.  I knew she was going to take this hard, but I was concerned that she wasn't eating and was sleeping all the time.  Tomorrow was Saturday, so we didn't have to worry about school.  I'd called her school and they were just excusing her from any work while she was away.

In the morning, Sebastian thought it was hilarious that I had slept in Nora's bed.  I picked him up and took him into the kitchen for breakfast.  He'd finished his first few days of kindergarten and he loved it.  It had been difficult adjusting to a full day of school, though.  In the afternoons he'd been a bit cranky because he was tired.  He babbled to his father as Lin began making pancakes.  He hoped it would coax Nora out of bed.

The smells of the pancakes filled the house.  I dropped some chocolate chips in the batter, knowing it was Nora's favorite.  I set Sebastian up with a plate of pancakes and then walked back to the bedroom.  Vanessa was sitting up in bed, Nora curled up to her side.

"Good morning," I said as I sat on the bed next to them.  I gently patted Nora on the hip.  "I made you some chocolate chip pancakes.  Wanna come eat some?"

She grumbled a little and turned over.  The look on her face broke my heart.

"Come on," I urged her.  "It'll feel good to get out of bed."

I got up and then gently tugged on her ankles to bring her to the edge of the bed, then pulled her up to standing.  She immediately clung to my arm, leaning against me.  I kissed her head and took her hand as we walked slowly out to the kitchen.

"Nora!!" Sebastian saw his big sister, waving his fork in the air.  She smirked a little bit.  Sebastian hopped off his chair and ran to his little table.  He picked up the card he'd made her two days ago and held it up to her proudly.  Nora took it and smiled as she read it.  She knelt down and gave him a big hug.

"Thank you, Sebby," she said softly.  "That was really nice."

"You smell, Nora!" He told her.  Leave it to the five year old to be blunt.  I don't think Nora had showered since Thursday.

I got out a plate and loaded it with chocolate chip pancakes.  Nora sat at the table and piled on the butter and syrup.  She began to dig in, and I was relieved.  She was almost through all the pancakes I'd given her, so I started making some more.  I was relieved that she was eating.

Vanessa wandered out after her shower carrying Francisco.  He was wide awake and smiling.  Vanessa held him out in her arms so Nora could give him a quick kiss.  Little kids are good for putting you back in a good mood.

We went about our day as normal as possible.  I was pretty sure Nora wouldn't want to be fussed over.  She wanted to be left alone and needed to know we were there for her.  When she was done with her breakfast she put her plate in the sink then grabbed a blanket and collapsed onto the couch.  Vanessa and I looked at each other, silently communicating that we couldn't let her laze around all day.

Vanessa walked over to where Nora was laying and quietly talked to her for a minute.  Whatever she said must have worked because Nora got up and went to the bathroom.  Vanessa went to her bedroom and found some fresh clothing and dropped them inside the bathroom for her.  When Nora emerged fifteen minutes later, she looked much better.

In the meantime, I had contacted Steve again.  I knew he and Laura weren't well off, so I offered to give him some money for the funeral.  She was the mother of my child, and I felt like I needed to help.  He gratefully accepted and I offered to bring him a check later that day.  I was going to ask Nora if she wanted to come.