I Fall Apart

Nora

I never wanted to leave my room again, and never wanted to look at a phone.  I was completely humiliated, and the worst was that Dad and Vanessa knew about it.  How embarrassing that your parents knew you'd been taking nude pictures of yourself and sending them to a boy.

I heard a knock on my door and Vanessa came in.  I know dad was trying to show he was sympathetic, but I just didn't want to talk to him about this.  As Vanessa walked in, I sighed and teared up a bit.  She crossed the room and sat on my bed, pulling me into a hug.

"Oh, Nora," she said sympathetically.  "This is so terrible.  You must be so embarrassed."

"I never want to go back to school again," I mumbled into her shoulder as I cried.  How could I face the rest of the student body when I knew some of them had seen my boobs?  Just thinking about 14 and 15 year old boys looking at my boobs was revolting.

"I know it seems like the end of the world right now," she said, "but this will pass.  It will be forgotten about."

"But my picture is on the Internet," I pulled back and wiped at my eyes.  She handed me a tissue.

"I know," she said.  "We can get a court order to have it removed from certain places, which will help control it a little bit.  But Nora, we need to think about going to court.  I know you told your dad you didn't want to go, but I think it's a good idea."

"No!" I protested immediately, shaking my head.  "I don't want to face them in court."

"But they betrayed your privacy," she pointed out.  "Are you just going to let them get away with no consequences?"

"I don't care right now!" I said.  "I just want the picture gone.  I want it to all go away."

"Right now, you're upset and you're emotional," she pointed out.  "Think about it for a couple of days.  I know a very good lawyer that can help us with this."

"So, what, they would go to jail?" I asked.

"No," she said.  "They'd be hit with fines and might have to register as a sex offender."

"But they're minors," I pointed out.

"Doesn't matter," she said.  "They distributed child pornography."

"I don't want to ruin the rest of their lives," I said.  I was angry, but I didn't think they deserved to have to register as a sex offender.  "It was just a stupid teenage boy thing."

"Think about it," she told me again.  "Your dad and I will let you stay home from school tomorrow as long as you're doing your work.  He'll email your teachers."

"Thanks," I said, relieved I wouldn't have to face school tomorrow.  But what about the next day?  And the next?

Vanessa left and I tried to concentrate on my homework, but I couldn't.  Dad had my phone and it was turned off, but I wondered what was going on.  Were people still sending me nasty texts?  There was a horrible pit in my stomach that wouldn't go away.  I wanted my mom.

I stayed in my room for the rest of the evening, besides going out for dinner.  I curled up deep under my covers and slipped into a restless sleep.

I slept late the next day.  At around ten, I woke up, hearing Dad talking on a call out in the kitchen.  I wonder what he thought of me.  Was he as disgusted with me as I was with myself?  It was such a stupid thing to do.  I slipped on a hoodie, wanting to feel covered up, and wandered out to the kitchen.  I poured myself a bowl of cereal as Dad talked to some music producer about something he was working on.

After a few more minutes, Dad hung up and turned his attention to me.  "How are you feeling today?"

"Disgusting," I told him honestly as I ate a spoonful of Cheerios.