I Fall Apart

Nora

As I walked through the hallways of Hunter High, I kept thinking about Dad's offer. I had to admit, three weeks in California would be pretty awesome. But I'd be away from V and the boys, plus my Aunt Shannon for almost a month as well. I don't think I'd miss them as much as I missed my mom in Wales, but it was still a long time to be away. Then I kicked myself. What kind of teenager was I? Weren't teenagers supposed to hate their families? Be constantly arguing with their stepmothers?

The truth was, I adored all my family. Even though it was small and I'd only known them a short time, they were the most important people in my life. I would have to do without reading the boys their bedtime stories, getting math help from Aunt Shannon, and talking boys with Vanessa. Technology made it easier, but it wasn't the same.

Dad had emailed my teachers and most of them seemed to be okay with it. It was all up to me. I felt special that Dad wanted to take only me. I didn't always get alone time with him. The boys were little and needed constant help and supervision.

I felt a hand pull on my upper arm, pulling me to the side of the hallway. A kid named Dylan.

"I heard you were looking for some reefer?" he said very quietly.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You know," he went on, looking around suspiciously for a moment. "Grass."

"Oh," I recovered, clearing my throat. "Yeah. You have some?"

He nodded."Three fifty an ounce."

"What?!" I asked, exasperated.

"That's the going rate," he explained. "Hit me up if you're interested."

I felt kind of bad now that I'd taken two joints from Aunt Shannon. I hurried off to my next class, pushing the interaction out of my mind. As I was sitting in AP History, I realized that marijuana was actually legal in California. If I went with Dad, I at least wouldn't be doing anything illegal.

When I got home that afternoon, Dad was on a phone call with someone. He winked at me as I went to the pantry to get an after school snack. Sebastian ran to the television to watch a show. He knew how to access the DVR and pull up his favorite shows. I grabbed him a couple cookies and joined him on the couch. Franky was fussing, so I went to go get him from the play pad since Dad was on a call. I bounced him around a little and tried playing patty cake.

Dad finished up his call and set his phone on the counter.

"How was school?" he asked us.

"Fine," we both answered, staring at the TV. Not that I was that interested in what he was watching, but it was something. Franky wasn't quieting down.

"Here, I'll take him," Dad said. I held the baby up in the air and Dad took him from behind the couch. They disappeared to his bedroom, where he probably gave him a diaper change. When they came back, Franky seemed a little happier. Dad got some Cheerios out of the pantry for a snack, hoping that would help.

Dad reached Cisco over the back of the couch in between me and Sebby, then handed him his little bowl. Cisco started munching right away.

"I've gotta make a few more phone calls," he told me. "Do you mind watching them for a few minutes?"

"Sure," I said and he walked back to his bedroom. Dad was super excited about directing his first movie, which is why we'd be going to California. I joked with Dad that he was good at bossing people around, so he'd make a great director. That earned me a kick on the behind.

I hung out with the boys a bit longer before I excused myself to go to my room for some quiet. All day, there was noise. At school, on the subway, in the streets, at home. My bedroom was my little oasis. After dinner, the boys got a bath and I helped with bedtime again. I was frequently requested.