I Fall Apart

Lin

           

I had Nora's certificate framed and I hung it proudly in my office.  It meant a lot to me that she wanted to change her name.  I'd never brought it up to her; it was all her.  Two years ago, when we were butting heads constantly, I could never imagine us being at this point.  I could tell she loved me, and I loved her to the moon and back.

Since we'd gotten back to New York, we slipped back into our regular routine.  As far as I knew, she had no contact with her Aunt Shannon.  I personally hoped Nora would steer clear of her for a good while.  I couldn't deny that Shannon had initially had a really good influence on her life.  She had another adult to confide in, and she helped her with her math homework.  I loved that Nora had someone from her mother's side of the family.  What Shannon had done was low, and I hoped she was feeling guilty.  She'd have to earn back my trust and Nora's trust.

That Saturday, Nora had her first debate team meet.  I knew she'd been working hard after school, learning the rules and how to best craft an argument.  I'd never been to a debate tournament before, but it seemed pretty nerdy.  Nora seemed like the last person who'd end up doing something like this, which was why I was so proud of her.

V's parents took the boys for the day so we could attend the tournament together.  It was just two schools facing off against each other.  The moderator began with the rules.  There were several rounds, giving all the students on the team a chance to flex their debate skills.  There would be an initial 3-minute argument from both sides, a 1-minute response from the other team, and a 1-minute conclusion from each team.  Nora was set to be part of the second debate.

Her topic was capital punishment.  V and I watched as she and two other team members took their 5 minutes time to come up with their arguments before it was time to begin.  The other school went first.  The first two students made the opening 3-minute argument. Nora was set to go during the second round, a comfortable place to be.  No pressure of opening or closing arguments.

A debate tournament wasn't exactly a place to yell and cheer your kid on.  I had to sit respectfully and just listen.  Nora took a deep breath as she approached the podium.  She adjusted the microphone and looked at her note cards.  The moderator called her time to begin and she cleared her throat.  Her voice started off a little shaky, but about fifteen seconds in she seemed to hit her stride.  Her voice was confident and her argument succinct.  She had an impressive vocabulary.  I could tell she was paying attention to when she made eye contact and moved her hands.  My heart was pounding by the time she got to the end of her minute.   As the moderator called time, I erupted in applause and whistled.  Nora bit her lip and smiled, blushing a bit.  Vanessa shushed me, but also clapped loudly.

Nora's school won the tournament.  Out in the lobby, the kids were all celebrating, congratulating each other as all the parents started to stream out.  V and I both hugged Nora, telling her how proud we were of her.  She beamed, obviously proud of herself.

"Do you mind if I go out with the team?" she asked us.  "We're getting pizza."

"No, of course not," I told her.  "Have fun."

I watched Nora as she celebrated with her teammates.  She seemed to have a genuine smile on her face.  Nora had never been an academic star.  She did her homework but wasn't a straight A student.  It was great to see her succeeding like this.  And she wanted to succeed at this.  As her dad, I was really proud.

As V and I walked out, holding hands, she laughed at me.  "You're so adorable," she told me.

"What?" I asked.

"The smile on your face right now," she grinned at me.  "You're so proud."

I wasn't embarrassed about that.  "I am proud.  She did great."