I Fall Apart

Nora

I had managed to go several weeks without getting in trouble once at school or home.  Dad and Vanessa had started going out together more often since they trusted me to babysit the boys.  It was pretty easy money.  They were in bed by 8 and then I had the evening to myself.  I earned forty bucks a night, in addition to my regular allowance.

Vanessa was trying to get me to join the debate team.  It seemed pretty nerdy to me.  I guess I was pretty good at arguing, but this was more of an academic thing.  She said it would look good on my college applications.  To be honest, I hadn't really thought much about college yet.  Mom had never really brought it up.  She'd gone to college for a couple of semesters but never graduated.  I was only a sophomore, so I didn't need to think about it for a couple of years.

I made a deal that I would go to a meeting a see what it was like.  Most of the kids were kids I wouldn't regularly hang out with.  They were mostly Ivy League hopefuls or kids who had been forced to join by their parents. Let's be honest - I wasn't going to the Ivy League, but as Vanessa had pointed out, I didn't have any extracurriculars.  I wasn't going to join a sports team.

They met in the auditorium so they could practice being on stage in front of the podium.  I sat about halfway back and watched.  They picked a topic at random and the teacher in charge gave them a time limit for how long they could prepare their answer.  Everyone got practice speaking.

As the session wound down, I got my backpack and was hoping to make a quick exit, when the teacher walked up to greet me.

"Are you Nora Thomas?" She asked me, smiling.

"Yes," I said.  She held out her hand to shake my hand and I took it.

"What did you think?"

"Umm...it was interesting," I said.  "I don't know if I'd fit in though."

"I think you'd be surprised," she told me.  "Once you get started, it gets pretty fun.  Do you like participating in class discussions?"

"Um, I guess," I said.  I sometimes enjoyed decimating classmates when I made my points.

"Well, I encourage you to come to a couple more sessions," she told me.  "You can join in next time and see if you like it."

I thanked her and rushed out of there.  I really wasn't sure about this.  Most of these kids were really good at this.  What if they made me look foolish?  I tended to lash out if I thought someone was disrespecting me.  On the subway ride home, I plugged in my headphones and zoned out, trying to forget about it.

When I got home, I disappeared into my room.  I laid down on my bed and texted Justin.  Aaron and I were a thing, but we weren't exclusive.  I hung out with Justin a bit on the side.  I smiled as we texted back and forth, flirting a little.  He asked me to send a picture of myself so I stood up in front of the mirror.  I fixed my hair and adjusted my top a little so it showed some cleavage.  He replied with a wink, then some goofy shot of him hanging out in Central Park next to an over-domesticated squirrel.

I want to see more of you.

I bit my lip and smiled a little bit.  I knew he thought I was hot.  I laid down on my bed and put on a little more lip gloss.  Flirtatiously, I pulled down my tank top a little, showing a bit more skin.

He replied with a 'wow' emoji.  Then,

Any lower?

I felt my heart pounding.  I'd never ever let a guy actually see my boobs before.  I'd fooled around with both Aaron and Justin before, but it had just been over or under-the-shirt groping.  There was a little voice in my head that said maybe I shouldn't do this, but I ignored it.  This was fun.  I lowered my top a little lower so it showed my whole breast.